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Transgender children deserve acceptance, respect and love

When we talk about gender, many doubts can arise and it is common for some terms to be interpreted wrongly. When dealing with transgender children, for example, many parents feel unprepared for the situation, most of the time due to sheer lack of information. But what about you, do you know what a trans person is?

A trans person is someone who does not identify with their biological gender and all the meanings that are attributed to that gender, such as: types of clothes, colors, activities and behaviors that are socially constructed and seen as typical of the female or male gender. A trans person is, therefore, a person who transitions from their biological gender to the gender they identify with.

As for the identification of a trans person in the field of mental health, there are several clashes and although some professionals still see the situation as a pathology, many other professionals in the area struggle to end this prejudiced conception and ensure that each person manages their own gender. “An identity stems from the role of each person, it does not stem from surgical procedures or adaptations to stereotypes and prejudices”, explains psychologist Jaqueline Gomes de Jesus.

Some terms and nomenclatures are used in conversations about gender and understanding them is important to understand and clarify some things.
See below for explanations of some terms to better understand the debates on gender:

Cis and Trans Genders: Cis (cisgender) people are people who identify with the gender assigned to them by biology. Trans (transgender) people are people who do not identify with the gender assigned to them by biology and transition into the opposite gender. “When we talk about trans people, we are dealing with an issue of gender, expression and gender identity, this debate has nothing to do with sexuality or sexual orientation”, emphasizes psychologist Jaqueline Gomes de Jesus.

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Biological Gender: Biological gender is designated by chromosome XX for female, XY for male, or some different combination for intersex people. From this classification there are social arrangements that differentiate men and women and people who identify with their biological gender are called cisgender.

Sexual orientation: Sexual orientation is in no way linked to gender identity and can present distinct variations in combinations between gender and sexuality. Basically, sexual orientation is “the way a person experiences affective-sexual attraction for someone”, comments Jaqueline.

Gender Identity: It is the gender with which a person identifies. People can identify with their biological genders (cis), can transition from one to another, can be non-binary (do not identify as male or female), or still not identify with any gender. “It is the deeply personal, and apparently paradoxical, recognition of feeling part of a group and, at the same time, being someone unique and different from other people”, comments Jaqueline.

Gender Expression: Gender expression is an expansion of gender identity, it is the way people will demonstrate their femininity or masculinity. “Each person expresses their way of living as a person of this or that gender, in conformity or not with cultural standards”, explains Jaqueline.

It is important to emphasize that when dealing with human beings, these classifications and terms exist only to organize in a subjective way, which means that it is not necessary for a person to fit into one category or another. Gender, for example, does not have to be binary, that is, many people may not identify with either male or female, or even identify with both.

Can I spot signs that my child is transgender?

Manifestations of gender identity can occur at any age. “Since we were children, we grew up recognizing ourselves or not in the cultural standards valued for this or that genre”, comments Jaqueline. Therefore, a person still in childhood can identify with the biological gender and all the social constructions imposed on that gender or identify with the opposite gender.

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However, denying established standards for a gender does not necessarily mean that the child or adolescent is a trans person. “All people grow up being encouraged or repressed to act according to the gender to which they are socially assigned, and when we have children and adolescents who do not conform to this gender apartheid, they tend to be very repressed and suffer great stress”, explains the psychologist. .

The signs may appear, but as stated earlier, they may not mean that the child or teenager is transgender. “Parents can know, basically, if their children act according to recognized behaviors for this or that gender, and they cannot be identified as trans children”, explains Jaqueline. The recognition of transgenderism occurs, therefore, from the individual identification of each person.

9 ways to live respectfully with trans people

Everyone deserves respect, this statement must be taken into account when living with anyone. However, we know that some groups tend to suffer prejudice in different social environments and often within the family environment. Below, with the help of Izabela Fournier, a trans woman, and the psychologist Jaqueline, we list ways to live respectfully with trans people. Check out:

  1. Seek to create a safe environment for your child at home;
  2. Empathize with the situation, put yourself in that person’s shoes;
  3. Do not repress the gender identity of the child or adolescent;
  4. Keep in mind that your child has no problem and that the problem lies in the way society deals with gender issues;
  5. Seek information with readings that allow learning about gender issues;
  6. Seek support at school so that the trans person does not suffer repression in this environment;
  7. Seek support from knowledgeable mental health professionals who value different ways of experiencing gender;
  8. Make contact with other parents who are in the same situation, so they can learn and strengthen together;
  9. Remind your child daily how much he/she is loved.
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Testimonials from transgender and family members

Any coexistence between human beings requires respect, acceptance and often some changes in the way of thinking, so that the relationship happens in a satisfactory way between all parties. It is important to remember that differences exist and we need to learn to live with them as best we can. Check out incredible accounts of love, acceptance and respect between transgender people and their families below:

transgender children

In this video, testimonies from several fathers and mothers are shown, who talk about how much they love their children and their families despite their differences. The video also shows some statistics about trans people in Brazil.

Transgender, transsexuals and human rights

The video accompanies reports of 3 transgender women and addresses issues such as acceptance, sexuality, affective relationships and with the family. One of the main points of the video is to show how the support of fathers and mothers is important for anyone’s happiness.

Our family

The video shows family and friends of two transgender men: Nathan and Bernardo. Family and friends talk about their relationships and experiences with the two and talk about the importance of welcoming, loving and respecting trans people.

A quick internet search is enough to find that transgender people are victims of many cases of violence motivated by prejudice on a daily basis. If your son or daughter is a trans person, remember that at least the family space should be a safe and respectful environment for that person. Try to find out about the subject and guarantee your son or daughter a comfortable, receptive and loving family environment.

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