It’s liberating when you heal from a abusive relationship.

I came from a dysfunctional family, and since I was little I feel like a fish out of water and the feeling of not belonging follows my entire life story.

I felt alone and unprotected, but I always kept silent in the face of everything I experienced. I had serious problems with my mother, for being different and, as I was the preferred daughter, I ended up creating a very big barrier of protection and a self-sufficiency that became another reason for insults and humiliation by my family members — because I tried to protect myself, was labeled empowered, leading me to believe that in the face of this fortress, any squeamishness or emotional pain was inconvenient or unnecessary.

These toxins came from every member of my family except my father, who was absent, addicted, and alienated—all the more reason I was prone to being an emotional dependent.

SEE ALSO: You deserve to be happy! 5 rules for having a great life

In these psychological reality shocks, I lived my childhood and already in adolescence I was more aware of what I wanted or not for my life. I started to rebel against the system and didn’t agree with almost anything about abusive authority and rules that only applied to a few; rebelling, I raised arch-enemies for a lifetime, disguised as wonderful family members who “only wanted my well-being”.

And here I am today, sharing my story to show that this is how toxic relationships are built, dysfunctional human beings that generate bonds, where their affective sex partners will have the same characteristics and some people will find it normal, because that’s what they have as a lifetime reference.

But I, as a rebel that I am, and as a voice always screamed inside me that everything was wrong and that I wasn’t forced to accept these abuses because of my blood ties, I decided to break the chain; I won’t say it’s easy, that it doesn’t cause pain, guilt or a mix of contradictory feelings, the breakup is painful, but it’s also liberating.

Read Also: in-health-and-in-illness-and-may-nothing-separate-us - I fell in love

A lot of therapy, some black marks, a detailed study of my inner self, my desires and a huge desire to break with limiting beliefs that only cause suffering… step by step, day by day, working, reflecting and deciding…

Final decision, there was no other way out, there were no palliatives, nothing to break this sick pattern except the only path that opened up in front of me: total disruption, zero contact.

Today, looking back, I see that this breakup was as necessary as it was urgent, because I didn’t just walk away from my family, I also walked away from the possibility of getting involved in other dysfunctional relationships.

My life took a different turn, because I had the courage to do something different!