To be loved is to be respected, valued and vice versa. And healthy couples know this. Know the characteristics of a healthy love.

It is very difficult to hear a friend say how unhappy she is in her love relationship, but it is much more terrible to see how aware she is of her suffering without being able to escape that hell.

I lived through this situation closely for a matter of years, and she often got angry with me because I told her that she was in an unhealthy relationship.

The truth is, after a lot of time and damage, she finally realized how mired she was in this toxic relationship, and finally managed to muster up the necessary strength to get away from something so bad.

What is a codependent relationship?

This type of relationship is characterized because it is like an addiction for both parties. It’s a typical situation: “You hurt me, but I can’t live without you.”

Relationships like this are characterized by not having defined limits, there is suffering, which is confused with love and the person is trapped in an unsatisfying relationship that he cannot let go of.

The reasons for not being able to get out of such a relationship are diverse, ranging from lack of autonomy, fear of being alone and feeling incomplete if the relationship ends.

Why does someone become an emotional codependent?

Experts on the subject explain that it is usually a behavior that comes from childhood and lives within the family nucleus.

A codependent person always seems to choose the same type of relationship: dominant, destructive, abusive.

The person becomes so codependent that he forgets to take care of himself and becomes tolerant of his partner’s harmful behavior.

Can a couple stop being codependent?

They could if they wanted to, the point is that this is not achieved just by wanting to. In all kinds of addictions, a person must admit that he is sick and needs help.

The point is that the strength of egos and the need for the other make it impossible for them to see reality.

For this, they must resort to couples therapy, they must fulfill goals that help them to heal and overcome this type of emotional conflict of affective dependence. Otherwise, the best thing that can happen to both of you is for the relationship to end.

Heal yourself before looking for real love

Every person who has been involved in a codependent relationship should be given time to heal their wounds.

The good thing is that by recognizing that in this relationship she was suffering, she won’t want to go through the same thing again. She’s learned what she wants in love and what she doesn’t.

Once you have completely healed, you will be ready to move on with your love life.

SEE ALSO: SCIENCE PROVES: THE ZOEIRAS BETWEEN THE COUPLE HELP TO STRENGTHEN THE RELATIONSHIP!

How do I know my relationship is healthy?

A healthy relationship is not completely problem-free, but the big difference is that there are limits, respect, the other person’s point of view is taken into account, there is no manipulation, insults, unnecessary fights, etc.

There is also mental and emotional freedom, what do I mean by that? That loyalty is something tangible in this type of love relationship, because both know they love each other and that feeling is too strong to give way to betrayal.

8 Characteristics of a healthy relationship

1. Responsibility

The couple is responsible for their actions and decisions. This allows the two to take the blame in case of mistakes and make up for the mistake made.

2. Commitment

In the case of marital conflicts, both parties know how to negotiate and find solutions to move forward together.

3. Financially secure

This is part of the commitment they make. Each expense or investment is agreed upon because what is sought is not to earn more than the other and, therefore, have more purchasing power. They are a couple, and as such, they both earn, they both invest, and they both feel financially secure.

4. Shared power

Everyone has their role, that should be clear, however, not because he has a stronger character than her (or vice versa), he has more power.

By personality effects, it is possible for someone to dominate the other. Despite this, both must learn to distinguish when it is good to give in favor of the couple. The goal is to be happy together, not to win a battle of egos.

SEE ALSO: 130+ INTIMATE QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR BOYFRIEND

5. Freedom and communication

A key ingredient in healthy relationships is trust. This allows the two to be free and to be able to talk about anything knowing that there will be no lack of respect, there will be no fear and there will always be understanding and consensus.

6. Demonstrations of love

Kind words, hugs, kisses, these acts are valuable, although some people give them less importance. However, they do encourage and strengthen the relationship, so why not say how much you love each other and show it on a daily basis?

7. Individuality

You are a couple, yes, but you are also individuals, and as such, you each have different tastes, personalities and beliefs.

The trick of healthy, happy couples is that they know how to respect their differences, which can even complement and strengthen them, as couples and individuals.

8. Give value to the partner

Couples who live in a healthy relationship know how to recognize the person they have by their side and do not need time to know how valuable the other is for their life.

They don’t depend on each other, they accept each other, they respect each other and they value the role the other plays in their lives.

For better or worse, many of us experience unhealthy love. Sometimes we try to convince ourselves that the other person hurts us because he loves us, but this is a serious mistake. The good news is that we learn, we recognize ourselves, we become stronger and, in the long run, we learn to value ourselves and look for someone who really deserves us.

If you are in such a relationship, try to seek help before continuing to do more damage, which can harm your own self.