The real me and the other selves

A text of reflection on the question “who am I?”

Hello friends!

A question that pervades life is: “who am I?” In this text, we are going to talk about some possible answers, hence the title the true self and the other selves.

The self as narrative

It may seem strange to say that we have more than one self (at least two) as this would be an indication of psychic fragmentation or multiple personality. But in the question “who am I” we see that there are two selves, very easily:

The me that asks and the me that observes the question. The most basic answer to be given is the self as a narrative, as a story, as a bit of the past that has come this far. For example, I can answer the question “who am I” by saying:

“I am a psychologist”. That is, I say that during a period of my life I studied psychology at the faculty and then I enrolled in the Federal Council of Psychology and, therefore, I have a profession. Profession (which comes from professing and also gives the word proffer and teacher) is one of the commonplace references for the existential question.

I am this profession. End of answer.

Another possible answer is: I am my name🇧🇷 I am the son of_____ and _____. With this answer, we are bringing to light the history of our family, our origin and, at the same time, as much as the profession, we are saying about our social, economic, religious, political place, etc.

In these two cases, which are examples of basic answers that we hear or can give from the question “who am I”, the self is visible as a narrative: in my past I did this, this and that, therefore I am this profession. I was born in such a place, of these parents, and therefore I am like this.

There is nothing wrong with the self-response as a narrative, except that narratives have a tendency to be fictionalized, created, rearranged in memory. Of course, only a person out of his mind will lie about his profession or family of origin, but along with these answers are stories from the past: place of birth, events at school, experiences in adolescence, likes and dislikes…

Another point to be observed in the narratives is that the narratives have no end. Therefore, when we need to look for the reference of who we are, we have to recount those old and worn out memories, we have to keep brooding over the past, turning over and over wounds and sorrows or, at best, nostalgic for past joys.

From the perspective of Mindfulness Psychology, we see that the way out of the past is attentional focus on the present. And, if this is carried out, we will enter another possibility of answer:

The self as consciousness and self-awareness

If attention turns to the present, stories cease. Without the need to have an egoic reference in the past, the answer to the question “who am I” can be quite different. As I said at the beginning, in the question there are those who ask the question and those who observe the question being asked, just as in the present there is an “I” that observes what is happening, inside and outside.

We usually speak of this “I” as consciousness. In psychology, we can also speak with the term Self. In German, for example, Jung uses the word Selbst, Self, to speak of the center of the psyche that is beyond the self. Although it has other meanings, the idea present in Self is precisely this: the one who observes himself. Selbstbewusstsein = self-awareness. Selbstverwirklichung = self-realization.

The process of individuation, for Jung, does not consist in realizing more and more a notion of self. In fact, it consists in realizing the Self or Selbst, in seeking not to limit life to an ego-centered perspective.

I really like the following dream of Jung, told in his autobiography and retold by the brilliant Jorge Luis Borges, a dream that can explain the difference between ego and Self:

“In his autobiography, Jung tells an impressive dream (but what is not?). He found himself in front of a prayer house, sitting on the floor and in the lotus position, when he noticed the presence of a yogi immersed in deep meditation. He approached and saw that the yogi’s face was his. Terrified, he walked away, woke up and began to conjecture: it is he who meditates; he dreamed and I am his dream. When he awakens, I will no longer exist.”

The I, in a dream, is the one I am referring to when I say: this is me, this is my body, this is my name, this is my story. Consciousness can be so bound up with this concept of a determined self that it cannot see beyond it.

If you break this limit even a little bit, you will be able to see that the awareness of something is different from this whole story. We can be aware of something happening outside of us – like a sunset – or inside of us, like the rumbling of our stomach when we are hungry or the big toe of our left foot.

But the most incredible thing is to be aware that there is consciousness. As in the dream described above: Jung dreams that he sees his own consciousness, his Self, the yogi meditating. This yogi then projects an existence that is himself. It is Self-awareness, self-awareness, the awareness of being aware when one is aware.

Conclusion

The title of the text says: “the true self and the other selves” and is a quote from a book I once had by Fernando Pessoa. Fernando Pessoa, the poet who was himself (Fernando Pessoa) and other selves, other-other names (heteronyms).

The truth is that all selves are fictitious, ultimately transient. The person who wakes up in the morning soon knows the role he plays in the world and forgets the other self that he has just played in a dreamlike image as faithful as the fantastic image of reality. The man assumes the position that was the boy and then gives way to the elderly. Behind these endless scenes there is a silent self that watches. When he wakes up, from the dream that made me be, I will no longer exist…

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