Home » News » The 5 biggest challenges couples face in staying together

The 5 biggest challenges couples face in staying together

Out of every four marriages, one will end in divorce – on average, 15 years after the “I do”, according to the latest survey by the Brazilian Institute of Geography and Statistics, in 2015. It seems increasingly challenging to maintain the long-term bond in these liquid times, and the reasons are not few: they range from the practicality of getting divorced (mainly since the 2010 law, which shortened the process) to the sexual freedom and immediacy that characterize our days.

On the other hand, the dream of finding a lifelong partner remains alive for most. The number of divorces is high, but the number of marriages and remarriages remains much higher. Crises are part of any relationship and, when overcome, strengthen the duo. Before facing the famous DR, assess whether you have not fallen into one of the main pitfalls of modern marriages. And then, take a deep breath, forget the resentments and bring constructive proposals to the discussion.

TOO MUCH ACTIVITIES

Expectations for marriage are higher than ever. Everyone is waiting for love, sex, friendship, the stability that our grandmothers had and a stimulating daily life.

At the same time, spouses are not so dedicated to life as a couple, because they lack time: both work a lot, share household chores, are more aware of the importance of closely monitoring their children.

Ready: where’s the relationship that was here? To make matters worse, the spouses’ routine may be similar, but it is not uncommon for the woman to assume more responsibilities.

“Even if both are equally dedicated to work, many men still consider their own work more important than that of their partner and resist sharing household chores”, points out Mônica Genofre, couples therapist, from São Paulo. The way out, of course, goes through quality dialogue – you’re on the same team, right? “Playing projects as a couple, in addition to individual ones, is also essential for the couple to remain connected”, she suggests.

Read Also:  45 wonderful sung memes to use with your crush

Read more: 4 things you need to know about divorce

NO TALK

If the lack of time (from the previous item) is combined with the unwillingness to talk and the habit of living with the cell phone in hand… Bomb! “Of the couples I see, 90% complain that they have no subject and that, when they do, they fight”, says Marina Vasconcellos, couples therapist, from São Paulo.

This is the case of Juliana, 45, a jewelry designer from São Paulo. She resents the times when she and her husband, who she has been with for ten years and who have a son, each have their cell phone in bed. “When one wants to talk, the other is on WhatsApp”, says she, who has recently been doing things alone (such as traveling) and feels that this enriches their life together.

“We have more topics, more willingness to exchange.” For the sexologist and therapist from Rio de Janeiro Amaury Mendes Júnior, this is the ideal combination. “Cultivating individuality keeps partners interesting in each other’s eyes. Which does not exclude, of course, keeping programs for two, in addition to moments eye to eye, without screens.”

Continues after advertising

SOCIAL NETWORKS

With friends the spouse doesn’t know and groups he doesn’t belong to, the internet is a permanent offer of possibilities.

If isolation in “one’s own little world” is a risk when the relationship is going well, in times of crisis, then… “Dissatisfaction is the gateway to conversations with the ex, likes with ulterior motives on the co-worker’s photos…” , says psychiatrist Cristiano Nabuco, from São Paulo.

Read Also:  11 body language tips to spot a liar

“It’s best to avoid looking up ‘scab to scratch’ online. It’s like drinking tequila to drown your problems”, he compares. As for the time spent on the network, the way out is that both establish limits. “How about leaving the device turned off at night?” advises Vasconcellos.

POWER DISPUTE

The woman climbs the career ladder and the partner feels downgraded. Or: more powerful than her husband, she loses her admiration for him. “The roles have modernized, but, in the unconscious, the requirements are old”, observes Mendes Júnior.

After her husband became unemployed, Isabela, a 36-year-old web designer from Minas Gerais, married for 14, had to review her concepts. “He started to cook and take care of the house and he didn’t feel less of a man. But it bothered me,” she admits. In time, she accepted.

“When he did well in his career, I took a sabbatical, thanks to his support. I understood that the important thing is to be on the side of the other, without fitting into pre-established cultural standards.”

Read more: 7 attitudes that make a couple’s relationship work

DIFFERENT OBJECTIVES

She loves going out; he prefers to stay at home. He wants children; she does not. She wants an open relationship; he, monogamy. This mismatch has always existed. But now, without the immobilization of socially established models.

For psychologist Sergio Garbati, from Rio de Janeiro, it takes courage to assume the desire – which implies acting accordingly. “There are those who say that they suffer from being single, but, in practice, they live an individualistic project”, he says.

Read Also:  After adopting triplets, woman discovers she was pregnant with twins

“It is necessary to know and rethink whether the actions are consistent with the objectives. If the spouse concluded that maintaining that union is important, how come he doesn’t find time to talk for half an hour a day?”, he provokes.

Continues after advertising

Are You Ready to Discover Your Twin Flame?

Answer just a few simple questions and Psychic Jane will draw a picture of your twin flame in breathtaking detail:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Los campos marcados con un asterisco son obligatorios *

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.