It could be an arranged sex or a night out that ended up at a friend’s house, it doesn’t matter. Sex between friends, known as the famous “colorful friendship”, always raises doubts: is it something interesting or a risk for friendship? Can sex destroy everything that has been built so far with a friend? Check out the answers and other tips in the article:
Questions about sex between friends
For sex between friends to work, the key is to align expectations. According to psychologist and sexologist Paula Gesuatto Furlan (CRP-08/17269), talking about sex is, above all, talking about consent, and both need to be in tune about what they expect from this new step. Clarify the main doubts that arise at this moment:
Can sex between friends get in the way of friendship? According to the sexologist, friendships are born through common interests, respect, conviviality and a lot of communication, so you need to keep all that in mind when getting sexually involved with a friend. It is necessary to communicate what sex means and will mean in this relationship: if it will be just sex or if both are entering with an open heart for whatever comes.
Can sex between friends strengthen friendship? For the sexologist, honesty, companionship and understanding are expected from a friend or friend. If, in the midst of all this, sex also appears, it is necessary to be clear to both of the intentions from this. In this sense, there is not necessarily a strengthening, but it is essential to respect the relationship and always communicate.
Can sex between friends evolve into dating? Also according to Paula, it is necessary to consider the fact that people change and feelings that were once fraternal can turn into romance, passion or even a detachment and withdrawal. A good conversation will put everything on clean plates to decide which way to go – it could, yes, be a relationship.
How to get back to a sexless friendship? When it comes to expectations, in addition to communication, it takes self-knowledge to recognize what you feel. According to the sexologist, if the colorful friendship turns into a friendship without sex, both will be aware of their new roles in each other’s lives. The fact that they know each other well helps a lot at this point, especially to avoid unrealistic expectations.
When it comes to having sex with a friend, it’s important not to get your hopes up too fanciful. It’s not because there is a sexual relationship that you should charge something more, because attitudes in this sense can really harm friendship, if they run away from what was consented by both. That’s why we’ve separated tips that can help, and a lot, at these times. Follow up!
8 tips for having sex with a friend and maintaining friendship
To stay on good terms with your friend (pardon the pun!), it’s good to prepare yourself so you don’t risk having your heart broken or your partner’s heart broken. Because they share so many moments as friends, sex can be very pleasurable and free from the charges that other relationships can bring. See our tips:
1. Complicity is the watchword
You know very well what each one likes and dislikes, after all, there is already a friendship relationship. Invest in it and talk honestly about the content of the relationship, making it clear that it is purely sexual and without romantic expectations. If this is well defined, no one will suffer further.
2. Don’t create expectations
Sex between friends should not require exclusivity or deepening the relationship. If one of you is in love and the other just wants to have sex, that will be a big problem: whoever wants something other than colorful friendship will get hurt, and the other will feel guilty. This expectation and roles being confused can undermine the relationship.
3. Pay attention to the agreement
It is important to reinforce that, for colored friendship to work, agreements must be respected. Both need to be very sure of what they want and this must be verbalized. That’s the only way to not shake everything they’ve built so far.
4. Maturity is key
You and your partner need to have the emotional maturity to face this plus in the relationship without harming the friendship. There may come a time when one wants to “break up” with it for various reasons, such as the beginning of a relationship. This kind of situation cannot cause discomfort, hurt the ego or cause the feeling of exchange, after all, the friendship continues.
5. Don’t work with this friend
A golden piece of advice is not to turn a work friend into a colorful friendship, because this can really jeopardize the professional environment if something gets out of hand. It is always better to be safe in this case. But if this is unavoidable, focus very well on the previous tips.
6. Don’t get mad if the date gets canceled
Always remember that it’s not a relationship and each one has their life full of commitments. The relationship is sexual, and the other is not always willing or available to have sex. So don’t expect an immediate response and don’t even get annoyed with changes in plans.
7. Explore your fantasies
Nothing better than a friend to tell you what you want to do in sex. Intimacy, complicity and partnership already exist in life and can be taken to bed. So, no being ashamed of the body or wanting to try something new.
8. have fun
Sex between friends is a moment of pleasure and even more intimacy: that is, it should be light and very pleasant. Also, it is important that no one is selfish and both work so that both enjoy and enjoy the sex completely. If it’s not meant to be that way, it doesn’t even make sense, does it?
Sex between friends is not a completely risk-free relationship, but it can be very worthwhile if both of you are right about what you want and want the same thing. Also check out the benefits of sex and enjoy the moments for two!
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