respect your time

I was reading a post by psychologist Marcelo Marchiori talking about the urgency of our time. In my interpretation, he talked about the disrespect for the time it takes for us to assimilate the events in our life.

We are short-sighted, we have audacious goals for before 30, such as getting married, having children, a profession and financial stability; we want to overcome painful losses in a week, we want a year in a day.

We learn from a young age to fall and get up fast. “It didn’t hurt at all” the elders said, and we swallowed the crying to overcome the pain of the grated as quickly as possible, because the world doesn’t stop spinning for us to get up.

And it doesn’t stop! So we have to thank God for being taught to move on, but we also have to respect our timing.

Falling often hurts and bruises hurt. Some are deeper and take time to heal. We don’t have to hobble around pretending that everything is fine when it isn’t. We don’t even have to charge ourselves to follow the appropriate age standards for each stage in our life, because everyone has their own time.

Haste does not allow us to read the manual. It doesn’t allow us to make the proper adjustments in our lives to be able to move forward. We force the engine to work beyond its capacity, ignore malfunction noises. We don’t breathe, we don’t cry the pain, we don’t retire in silence, we don’t respect our time.

This person here who writes to you is the queen of haste. I don’t read manuals, I hate studying for exams, I don’t think I would ever pass a contest, I don’t even know how I waited 9 months to be born. I repeated around “I don’t like being alone” and became a complete stranger to myself.

My silence was disturbing to me, because I started to listen to myself and I was terrified of all the things I had to say to myself, to understand in myself, and thus I never respected my time. When I had to, the wait consumed me. He was always running over things and consequently running over me.

Today I understand that I lost many things because of my urgency. And I also conquered many others because of my boldness in not knowing how to wait, so I’m not here regretting it, just noting that time exists and is sovereign and if disrespected, at some point it will charge you for it.

Here for me, I decided to respect myself in that sense. I looked at myself in the mirror and the chorus of O Teatro Mágico resounded “I don’t really know who I am”. I really do not know. Or I know, I even know, but what I know most is that for a long time I was what I needed to be to fit in and we shouldn’t do that for anyone, not even our children. The pressure is too much, from all sides. Little ones are asked what they want to be when they grow up and when they grow up when they get married and when they get married when they have kids and… You know the list!

At this rate, we swallow our tears, don’t “waste time because life is passing by” and think that not thinking is living life well, that waiting is letting life pass, but it’s not. At least I don’t think so.

It is imperative that we learn to respect our time to look within, to hear our noises when we are silent. And cry the pain, hide under the blanket in Netflix marathons, take a break from the revved engine until you understand what’s going on outside. Understand our emotions.

Did you watch Inside Out? It’s a beautiful way to show us that we are joy, sadness, anger, fear, disgust and etc and it’s okay to be like that, however, there must be a balance between emotions and all of them must be felt in order to learn to know and respect each other. .

Respecting your time is not wasting it, it is allowing yourself to know yourself. As long as you don’t know who you are and what you need, what your fears, your pains, your traumas, your desires are, you are likely to continue in this cycle repeating those old mistakes and wondering why these things always happen to you.

Maybe it’s because you haven’t been you, but many made-up versions of yourself to fit the expectations of others.

No one, however well-intentioned, knows you better than you do. You have unspeakable feelings and desires that manipulate your actions, dreams, fears that only you know about and only you can determine the time it takes to assimilate things in your life and move on.

Do not stop; stagnation is not good. But your engine speed capability can only be determined by you. Respect yourself and then move on being able to look at your reflection in the mirror knowing exactly who you are and what things you need.

Thanks for the conversation! People are talking. 🙂

Luciana Marques

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