- What does the love language of receiving gifts mean?
- Signs Your Love Language Is Receiving Gifts
- Misconceptions about the love language of receiving gifts
- What it’s like to date someone whose love language is receiving gifts
- If receiving gifts is your love language
- What if your love language is different from your partner’s?
Welcome to the world of love languages, also known as your secret weapon for building all kinds of lasting relationships. Chances are you already know something about love languages thanks to a personality test or love test, but if not, you’ve come to the right place.
The concept comes from the 1992 book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express a Heartfelt Commitment to Your Spouse, by Gary Chapman, PhD. And even though the book was released over 30 years ago, experts still agree that love languages are the key to creating balanced and healthy relationships.
Basically, love languages are used to explain how different people express, receive and communicate love. That’s why knowing your love language (not to mention that of your partner, parents, friends, etc.) is so essential. Speaking in someone’s love language shows that person more directly how much you care for them.
According to Gary Chapman, people typically gravitate towards one of the five love languages when showing affection: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service or gifts. That doesn’t mean you aren’t a fan of the other types, but your main love language reveals how you show your love and probably also how you want to receive love.
Now, if you still don’t know what your love language is, the first step is (of course) to find out with this free love language quiz: (WHAT IS YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE? TAKE OUR QUIZ AND FIND OUT NOW!) Then ask your partner to do the same. And if in the post-test you found that “gifts” is high for you or your partner, the next step is to learn everything you can about that language.
Oh! And if you are interested in seeing the meaning of the other Love Languages and how to demonstrate them, just click on one of the options in the list below:
- Quality Time
- physical touch
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
From what gifts love language does, to relationship tips and expert advice, here’s what you need to know about one of the most misunderstood love languages of the bunch.
What does the love language of receiving gifts mean?
As licensed clinical social worker and author Zoe Adarga Dinis explains, this love language is all about gifts. “Small gifts, big gifts, expensive or cheap – someone with this love language needs to be given thoughtful items to feel properly loved.”
The thing is, while the actual present is great and all, for people with this love language, it’s more about the thinking *behind* the present. The gift serves as a tangible and symbolic reminder of shared love, explains Zoe. “Taking the time to choose a specific gift for a person shows that it’s worth your time and energy,” she says.
This means that generic and last-minute gifts that don’t have high value and meaning will be over-appreciated. “The gift should give the person a special meaning,” explains Zoe. “Gifts given at random (even if they are expensive) will not satisfy this person.”
Oh, and in addition to receiving, people with this love language often love giving gifts as well. And chances are, they are professionals at it, as they invest a lot of time and meaning in the gifts they give.
SEE ALSO: HOW TO DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP BASED ON LOVE AND RESPECT
Signs your love language is about receiving gifts:
- Holidays for gifting (Christmas, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, etc.) are very important to you.
- And you probably start shopping/planning for that vacation long before anyone else.
- You never fail to gift your partner on their birthday, even if it’s a last-minute gift.
- Surprise flowers and symbolic items – like a cup of coffee or snack from the vending machine – mean much for you.
- And you often surprise others with little things just because you thought of them.
- You know how to differentiate when a person gives you a gift from the heart or out of obligation.
- And you can really feel hurt if someone gives you a gift out of obligation.
- A fancy and expensive piece of jewelry can mean as much to you as a single flower, depending on who gave it to you and why.
- You feel more cherished if your partner pays for your dinner or a pleasant evening.
- … And you might feel a little upset if he doesn’t offer at least occasionally to get the full bill.
- Everyone is amazed at your stellar gift-giving ability. You always find unique items that the receiver appreciates.
- You cling to small memories of special people and trips.
- You probably let a bouquet of flowers dry or put a flower between the pages of a book because you couldn’t bear to just throw them away.
- If your partner gives you his favorite sweatshirt or t-shirt, you’ll practically live with him.
SEE ALSO: HOW TO REPAIR A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP? LEARN NOW!
Misconceptions about the love language of receiving gifts:
“People with the love language of receiving gifts are materialistic or greedy.”
Let’s clarify one thing: this love language has absolutely nothing to do with being materialistic, notes Dr. Iris Dutra. “It’s about the person putting their time and energy into finding a specific gift for the person,” she explains. That’s the true value these people find in gifts.
The reason these people are so fond of gifts, it is because the gift is a physical representation of your bond with someone. Receiving something makes them feel seen and wanted.
It is also very important to know that we cannot choose what our love language will be. Licensed marriage, family and sex therapist Estefânia Domingos explains that the language of love sort of chooses us. “Love languages are partially built on how we receive or desire love as a child and how emotionally we can be attached to those actions.”
SEE ALSO: 93 QUESTIONS FOR BOYFRIEND TO ANSWER
“Gifts have to be expensive or flashy.”
Since the love language of gifts is less about money and more about feeling, gifts to these people don’t have to be elaborate or expensive. It all depends on the person, but often small souvenirs like a beautiful shell from a beach you visited together years ago or your favorite cookie from a bakery around the corner make a huge difference.
That said, for important holidays like birthdays or Christmas, for example, you might want to step it up, but that doesn’t mean spending more money. Something like a handmade photo album of your adventures, a compilation of your videos together, or even a Spotify playlist with meaningful music are highly valued options.
The amount and type of gifts someone likes varies from person to person, which is why being honest and communicating how you feel is essential. One person with the love language of receiving gifts may want to be pampered, while another just wants a nice surprise once in a while.
SEE ALSO: HOW TO GIVE A KISS WITH FOOTPRINT: 15 TRICKS TO WRITE DOWN!
“You have to be rich to date a person with that love language.”
As mentioned earlier, it’s often not about the value of the gift, it’s about the meaning, so being rich is not necessarily a requirement. In fact, being presented with something nice by a partner who doesn’t always fly private jets shows that, for that person, what love truly means.
That said, if you’re broke or on a tight budget, don’t feel like need robbing a bank to make a gift person feel loved. Sometimes, the best gifts are the cheapest because of the meaning that goes with them. A good tip is to listen to what the person likes or needs and then get creative. It’s about the consideration you put into listening and thinking about the present. The gift is the symbol of that love.
Here are some expert-recommended gift ideas that won’t wipe out your savings:
- Movie tickets to see your favorite movie (and don’t forget to pack some snacks)!
- A scented candle.
- A Christmas ornament from each place you’ve visited.
- That book the person has been talking about for weeks.
- A beautiful flower picked from a garden.
SEE ALSO: 190 INTIMATE AND DEEP QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR GIRLFRIEND
What it’s like to date someone whose love language is receiving gifts.
First of all: remember that these people feel love when receiving gifts, so while cuddling after a long day at work or doing the dishes is nice and all, it probably won’t give them as much affection as a gift. .
For important days like a birthday or Christmas, set a reminder a few weeks in advance so you can find the perfect gift. Love languages need to be woven into everyday life, so try to gift your love with a little something once every week or two. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy or flashy, but a few flowers or a treat from the place you went for a lunch meeting will definitely make a difference.
As for the gifts your partner likes, it really depends on the person. Some people might want jewelry, some might like fragrances, and some might want to be gifted or surprised with a date.
A good way to know what kinds of gifts your partner wants is to pay attention to what kind of gifts he gives you. Do they gravitate towards sentimentality? Functional? Luxurious? There’s a good chance they’re gifting the type of item they want to receive, so try to emulate that when shopping for them.
Above all, Starwood says to “be mindful of giving gifts that have no emotional meaning, can be worse than not giving them a gift.” If gift-giving isn’t natural for you — and honestly, even if it is — Dr. Lurve suggests having an open conversation and simply asking what kinds of gifts will make them feel the most special is important.
SEE ALSO: 6 REASONS WHY COUPLE WHO HUG ARE THE HAPPIEST
If receiving gifts is your love language.
While receiving gifts is a super common love language—and one of the most socially accepted—Dr. Ângelo Paredes says it can easily lead to conflicts if it’s not…
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