Planned pregnancy: what to think and do before deciding to have a baby

Regardless of whether it was planned or discovered at a time when the couple was not expecting it, pregnancy is a magical and transformative period – not only for the pregnant woman, but for the entire family involved.

But it is a fact that a planned pregnancy has certain advantages over a “surprise” pregnancy. This is because, when planned, all the factors necessary for a good pregnancy for the mother and the baby are easier to achieve, before pregnancy.

Márcio Coslovsky, gynecologist and obstetrician specializing in human reproduction at Primordia Medicina Reproductiva, in Rio de Janeiro, points out as the main advantages of a planned pregnancy: “being able to have a clinical check-up before pregnancy and lose weight, if necessary. It is also an opportunity to deal with any eventuality pointed out in the previous check-up exams”.

For the gynecologist and obstetrician, two or three months is usually a reasonable time for a woman to start planning her pregnancy.

Anyone who thinks, however, that planning a pregnancy simply means going to the gynecologist and saying “I want to have a baby” is wrong. There are numerous factors that must be taken into account before this decision is made and several others to be put into practice when the decision to get pregnant is totally right.

9 things to think about and do before planning pregnancy

Do you think the time has come to “enlarge the family”, which is ready to receive a baby and therefore wants to get pregnant as soon as possible! But calm down: finding it is not enough, you have to be sure, after all, son, as good as it is, it’s a responsibility for life.

“A woman, before thinking about getting pregnant, should consult three areas: reproductive age, relationship stability and professional and financial balance, that is, the biological, emotional and rational set must be in perfect harmony”, comments Cristiane M. Maluf Martin, psychoanalyst at Clínica Crisma, specialist in Psychoanalysis, Couples Therapy, Psychodiagnosis, Play Therapy and Group Dynamics.

“It is important to consider everything before planning a pregnancy, whether in the physical, mental, financial and spiritual aspects, because this decision will certainly affect all areas of your life”, adds Cristiane.

In this sense, you will find guidelines on what to think and do before actually starting to plan your pregnancy.

1. Enjoy life

Before making the decision to become pregnant, according to Cristiane, the couple should enjoy and enjoy a carefree life without children. “Travel, date a lot, sleep late, surf, ride a horse, in short, do everything you enjoy and feel like doing,” she says.

2. Ask yourself some questions

Having a child is a lifelong commitment, so, according to Cristiane, it is important to ask yourself some questions, such as:

• “Is it by mutual agreement with my partner?”
• “He and I have a difference in religion, have we already discussed how this will be for the child in the future?”
• “How am I going to reconcile work with raising the child?”
• “Are we both willing to give up luxury, like sleeping later, for example?”

3. Think about the financial conditions

A child needs to be planned in every way, including financial. “It is important that the couple make an estimate of expenses and verify if the family budget, at the moment, can undergo this significant change”, highlights Cristiane.

“It is recommended that the couple have savings so that they can afford the expenses that skyrocket, especially in the last months of pregnancy, and during the preparation for the arrival of the baby”, adds the psychoanalyst.

“One must keep in mind that this choice has a price, ‘we’ll find a way’ is not the best way to think”, recalls Cristiane.

4. Think about the physical space

It is also very important to think about the physical space. “Thinking if there is room in the house for a baby, if the region is legal to raise a child… The moment is ideal to deal with a possible renovation or move of house, as it is a great therapy”, comments Cristiane.

5. Take care of yourself

Cristiane remembers that no one is born prepared to be a mother. “Having a child is a responsibility and a commitment, a decision that must be considered with tranquility, trust and sincerity,” she says.

“So organize your feelings and mental health, women who suffer from depression tend to have a harder time getting pregnant. If you are not ‘in the right mind’, it is better to seek help before becoming pregnant, because hormonal changes are intense and can often cause depression during pregnancy and postpartum depression”, explains the psychoanalyst.

“If the woman is balanced at the time of pregnancy, everything tends to be easier, including childbirth. I emphasize that pregnancy is NOT a disease, but it must be clear to the woman that physical and psychological changes are inevitable”, adds Cristiane.

It is also important for women to take care of their physical health, too. “Am I eating well?”; “Do I have good life habits?”; “Is my health generally okay?” are some of the points to consider.

6. Have an honest conversation with your partner

The couple needs to be sure they are ready to have a child. “It is not just any decision, therefore, both must be aware of the emotion of this decision, but never leave reason aside”, says Cristiane.

“How is your relationship? The baby’s father-to-be and you have the same will? Thinking of a child as a solution to a relationship that has been shaken can be a trap, as the situation itself requires several resignations, that is, this choice ends up giving us less than we lost, and this can generate an internal discomfort called anxiety. The small being takes charge of everything around him, for example, the schedule of the house, the structure of the room, the furniture in the living room, everything revolves around the needs and desires of the little ones”, comments the psychoanalyst. These changes can happen to a greater or lesser degree, but they certainly have an influence on how the couple’s life works from the birth of the baby.

Cristiane points out that a person’s biggest mistake is to think that a child will bring happiness to the couple. “Because, in fact, what should be clear to the couple is that the child will share the happiness that already exists, even because it would be very selfish on the part of both to place this responsibility on the child”, he highlights.

7. Be prepared to face opinions

If the couple, in fact, makes an important decision like this, they will certainly end up hearing different opinions – some in the sense of encouraging, others, perhaps, with the proposal to question. “That’s great! It was about time, right?”; “Are you sure you want to have a child? It works!”; “Aren’t you guys too new for this?”… These are some examples of comments that may come up.

But, it is worth mentioning: the decision is solely of the couple. “And both should keep in mind that regardless of whether they comment on the desire to have a child, the demands are real in any family or circle of friends, however, it does not mean that these guesses should be accepted. For example, the person starts dating, they charge for marriage; after she marries, the charge is in relation to the children; after the couple has their first child, they ask when the second is coming, and so on”, comments Cristiane.

“I emphasize that the couple must maintain a firm stance, to set limits and face the questions and criticisms of family and friends, and make it clear to them about how uncomfortable they feel with the questioning”, adds the psychoanalyst.

8. Go to the dentist

From a more practical point of view, it is good for a woman to go to the dentist to check, in general, the health of her mouth.

“It is important to go to the dentist before pregnancy and during pregnancy. There is a fragility in the gum caused by pregnancy that can cause gum bleeding and small outbreaks of infection in the mouth “, highlights gynecologist Coslovsky.

9. Think about the obstetrician who will accompany you

It is interesting to start thinking about the doctor you would like to accompany you during pregnancy and childbirth. Does your trusted gynecologist do this or will you have to get a new one?

“The obstetrician who will monitor the pregnancy has to be someone with experience and up-to-date knowledge, with whom the pregnant woman has and/or has a good relationship”, highlights Coslovsky.

7 steps to plan pregnancy

You and your partner are really determined: you want to have a baby and you will start planning your pregnancy from now on. Below are some steps you should take to ensure a successful pregnancy:

1. Find the right weight

If you are overweight, it is interesting to try to get into your proper weight (which your doctor may inform you about). “This is not fundamental, but it is much better for the woman. People who are overweight are more likely to become diabetic or hypertensive during pregnancy. Pregnancy is an overload for the body, and if the woman is already overloaded by obesity, it sets up a sum of problems”, explains Coslovsky.

To lose weight, there are no secrets: you need to combine a healthy and balanced diet with the practice of some physical activity.

2. Quit smoking

Coslovsky points out that smoking is an enemy of fertility. “It anticipates menopause, decreasing ovarian function. Once pregnant, toxic substances cross the placenta and increase the chances of prematurity and low fetal weight. For those who want to get pregnant, smoking should be abandoned for yesterday,” he says.

3. Decrease your alcohol intake

“For people who drink socially, it’s okay to get pregnant. But, from the moment the pregnancy is discovered, it is necessary to stop drinking”, explains the gynecologist.

4. Perform clinical check-up

The woman should have a complete check-up to check on her health. According to Coslovsky, there are fundamental tests that must be done before a woman becomes pregnant. “Serologies to rule out infections. Serology for rubella and toxoplasmosis, blood glucose, Pap smears, ultrasounds to diagnose possible malformations of Organs reproductive organs and tests for HIV, syphilis and hepatitis,” she explains.

5. Stop using the contraceptive method and have sexual intercourse in the fertile period

If you are using any contraceptive method, such as birth control, it is necessary to stop it.

It is also essential to inform yourself about your fertile period, which is the moment of the menstrual cycle when the fertilization of the egg by the sperm is most likely and, therefore, pregnancy. That is, it is the moment when ovulation occurs – when the ovary releases one or more eggs to be fertilized.

It is considered that ovulation always happens in the middle of the cycle, that is, around the 14th day of a normal 28-day cycle. So, since the desire is to get pregnant, the ideal period to have intercourse is from 3 days before to 3…