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Mindfulness and Perception: “What’s Wrong Now?”

Know the discrepancy monitor, the be way and the do way.

Hello friends!

We can define Mindfulness as full attention to the present moment, with an attitude of acceptance, non-judgment, openness and curiosity to what is happening here and now. So we define Mindfulness as the psychological state of attention; as a quality that some people have or develop from staying more and more in this state (trait); and we also use the word to designate practices that aim to increase the state – such as mindfulness practices.

Learn more about the 8-Week Online Mindfulness Program

One way to define Mindfulness is to define its opposite, Mindlessness, inattention. Another way we use in Mindfulness Groups or individually through Skype is to show the difference between the way of being and the way of doing.

The way of being and the way of doing

In the book Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for depression, the authors show us that the do mode is an excellent method for solving problems or creating and executing solutions. For example, if you buy a piece of land, the present moment is the observation that you only see a piece of land in front of you. Imagining that you want to build a house, the doing mode (which is as much a mental mode as the behaviors that follow it) will tell you step-by-step how to get out of the “earth-state” and reach the “home-state”. ”.

If I’m thirsty and the water is in the kitchen, the do mode will give me directions to get up, go to the kitchen and drink the water or simply ask someone to bring me the water. There is the current state and the desired state. Make mode enters to move from one to another.

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In the words of Zindel et al,

“First we create an idea of ​​how we want things to be, or how we think they should be. Afterwards, we compare it to the idea of ​​how things are now. If there is a difference between how things are and how we want them to be, then we generate thoughts and actions to compensate for the difference. We monitor progress to see whether or not the gap is narrowing, and we adjust actions accordingly. We know we’ve achieved our goals when our ideas of how things are coincide with the idea of ​​how we want them to be”.

There’s nothing particularly wrong with the way of doing it. Without this characteristic we would hardly be able to live well, or perhaps we would not even be able to maintain our own life. The problem with the way to do it is when there is nothing that can be done, now.

The authors cite the example of the end of a relationship. With the breakup, there will certainly be a discrepancy between reality and perhaps the way we wanted things to be: either that the relationship didn’t end or that a new, healthier relationship emerged. In this sense, it is common for thoughts of rumination to arise about “how useless the self is, it can’t get anyone” or “you will never be happy in love” or similar catastrophic thoughts. All these thoughts are attempts at solving the problem, being alone in the moment, but instead of moving from the current state to the desired state, they are not a real solution, nor do they demonstrate a step by step.

The way of doing what is negative is also called the driven-doing mode. It’s relatively easy to notice its presence through words like: should, had to, needed to be… like this or like that.

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And, more importantly, the driven-doing mode, the negative side of the doing mode, consists of “the recurring feeling of dissatisfaction, reflecting the fact that the mind is focused on processing the difference between how we want people to things are and how they are now”.

Another example is a delay. Imagine that you are expecting a loved one. You put the idea in your mind – by arrangement – ​​that this person should (notice the word well) be in front of you at 6:00 pm. But you look at the clock and it’s already 18:10 and the person hasn’t shown up. Ten minutes is nothing, but you will feel more and more dissatisfaction in your body…

This often frequent presence in life is the discrepancy monitor, the perception, “What’s wrong now?

“The discrepancy monitor is the process that constantly monitors and evaluates the self and the current situation against a model or standard – an idea of ​​what is wanted, required, expected or feared. Once discrepancy mode is activated, it will find the differences between how things are now or are being and the way we think things should be or should be. This is your job”.

In this way, the way of doing has its function in taking us where we want and changing what we don’t want. However, in many, many, many situations there is not much or almost nothing that can be done now to change an unwanted situation. In these phases, if the doing mode is activated, it will present its negative side and all the time it will be monitoring what is wrong, what should not be, what could not be, be it the other, a fact or ourselves.

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In these moments when there is nothing to do, we can change our focus and move on to being mode. The way of being consists of accepting, allowing – that I, the other or the situation – be as it is. After all, it is… and there is no pressure for things to be different than they are right now.

“In being mode, the mind has nothing to do, nowhere to go, and can focus on the moment-to-moment experience, allowing us to be fully present and aware of what is here and now.”

With Mindfulness practices, we manage to enter the being mode when there is nothing to do, therefore. We remove useless or unnecessary suffering from our lives and increase our level of well-being.

Conclusion

Perhaps the biggest illusion – shared by almost everyone – is to assume that situations could not be as they are, that everything should be as we wish and not as it is, that is, that reality fits exactly with our mental creations.

It’s curious because what is being is a consequence of an infinity of past actions, ours and other people’s. You can’t go back and change all that, so the present is gone. Which doesn’t mean we can’t change our actions now and gradually create other consequences.

Learn more about the 8-Week Online Mindfulness Program

Bibliographic reference

Zindel, V. Segal, J. Mark Williams, John D. Teasdale. Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression, Second Edition. Kindle-Edition.

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