I will never be the same

I will never be the same.
I’ll never hear the same songs again the way we used to hear them together.
Maybe I’ll never listen to the songs we used to hear again and muster up enough courage to delete our playlist from the cell phone.
Maybe I’ll even change my cell phone, so I don’t have to see the photos and messages to delete.

I will never be the same.
Because I don’t know how much I can deliver to people,
Because actually, because of you, I was afraid to turn myself in.
Because now I’m traumatized by our failed relationship.

I will never be the same.
You took from me something that I really cared about,
Like the joy of watching the sunset, because now, it doesn’t make sense without you.
You took my most sincere smile and I don’t think I’ll ever come back to give it back.

I will never be the same.
His touch produced something in me that no one else will be able to reproduce.
His sweat mixing with mine was a unique scent that I will never smell again.
His hand caressing my forehead, before falling asleep, will not be replaced by any other caresses.

I will never be the same.
I don’t want to have my heart torn apart again,
Or cry in public, for remembering us, seeing couples walking on the pier or hugging at the movies.
I will never be the same again because without you there is no us and without us there is no me.

I need to be reborn
Search my messes and find myself again.
Maybe find a stranger I didn’t even know was there, waiting to surface,
Being happy alone.

I won’t need to be the same anymore.
I just want to be my new version of myself,
With new doubts,
Other fears, fear of the unknown.

I won’t need to be the same anymore.
There was already an “I” before you,
And she was quite happy with her own company, with her own friends.

I don’t want to be the same anymore.
I don’t want to live anymore because of a false love,
I want to be sure that, in time, I will be stronger without you.

I will never be the same,
I’ll never need to be the same again,
Because I don’t want to be the same anymore.