I want to improve my relationship: know three universal principles!

All the relationships work based on universal principles operants. Just as there is the law of gravity in physics, there are also laws that operate in personal relationships.

By themselves, the Principles are quite simple. The difficulty is precisely in giving up complexity, since the human mind loves make everything more complex.

From now on, we will analyze three universal principles of relationships. By getting to know them, we have the opportunity to apply concrete changes to improve all kinds of personal relationships.

When we dedicate ourselves to change our habits to flow with the operating principles, it becomes simple to reduce conflict, gain wisdom together with others, and expand our capacity to love.

meet three universal principles of relationships

Principle of Projection

The principle of projection works like a mirror: we only see outside what we have inside us. See some examples:

If we are angry with each other, we are really angry with something in ourselves.
If we judge others, we are judging something about ourselves.
If we resent another’s decision, we may be jealous or frustrated with our inability to make choices for ourselves.
Whenever we feel a nuisance in relation to another person, it is worth investigating to find out what is unresolved within us.

This also applies to the positive things we see in ourselves:

If we see beauty in the world, it is because there is beauty within us.
If we see love, it is because there is love in ourselves.
If we see compassion in others, we have compassion within ourselves.

Why the principle of projection happens

Practically all of us are used to identifying with our physical formwith social roles we play, with certain characteristics we have, with our personal tastes and preferences, with the emotions and sensations we feel, with the thoughts and beliefs we feed.

However, none of this corresponds to the reality of who we are. spiritually talking, we are a blank canvas on which all these phenomena are projected.

We can call this blank canvas Consciousness.

It’s like we’re at the movies. If we are not enjoying the film, there is no point in trying to rage against the images or wanting to change the scenes that are already playing. They are just the materialization of something being projected onto the screen.

It is then necessary to look at the roll of film and check what is being projected.

This is a very challenging point to understand.

Once we understand that we are the consciousness behind the personality (and not the personality itself), we can let go of countless attachments that cause conflict in personal relationships.

With the intention of illuminating our shadows and limitations, Consciousness itself projects into other people everything that we still haven’t let go of within ourselves.

If we are obsessed with organization, we will find people messy in our life so that we can let go of this obsession. If we label ourselves as intuitive, we are likely to attract people who are quite rational so that we learn to love them. And so on.

Principle of Duality

The principle of duality says that everything alternates into its opposite. You opposites are complementary and bring us opportunities for learning, wisdom and love.

Instead of resenting our spouse for being different from us, we can be grateful that we are complementary opposites that fit together in harmony.

Causal Duality: The Distortion of the Divine Principle

In our society, we often observe the causal duality, that which divides. This is the etymological origin of the word “devil”, which means “that which divides” or “two”. A synonym for it is satan, which, etymologically, means “adversary”.

We can extract from these ancient verbal roots the essence of suffering: division.

The first division happens when we believe that we are individuals and separate from the all. That’s the devil, division, in us. Belief in opposing dualities generates the infinity of

causes and forces that bring us suffering.

Symbolic duality: the Divine principle

Recognizing that all belongs to the Divine and is one brings resolution to suffering. In practice, duality (complementary opposites) is nothing more than a Divine tool so that we can unite in harmony.

The apparent duality also allows us to see outside what we have inside, shedding light on issues in our lives that are unconsciousso that we can develop love and wisdom.

Therefore, at a certain level of truth, everything alternates into its opposites and we see divisions. However, in Divine Reality, there has never been any kind of separation.

Everything is one thing, which is what we can call Consciousness, God, Greater Power or any other name that makes sense to us.

Principle of Impermanence

The purpose of any relationship is the development of love and wisdom.. But what is the real meaning of love? At Pandora, we say:

Love is accepting what is, not expecting it to change, doing your best.

The above sentence is quite challenging. Accepting the other is not always easy. And even when we momentarily accept it, we are often left waiting for it to change.

We want to change our spouse, our parents and children, our colleagues and even strangers. We want everyone to change to satisfy the our attachments.

At some stage in life, we realize that we don’t have the ability to change the other and we can only accept him as he is, without creating expectations. At that moment, many times, the tendency is to stop giving your best in relationships.

“Since I can’t change the other, I won’t give myself completely”. This is the opposite path to altruism and even to prosperity financial, as it prevents the creation of value, which is the basis for making money.

What does the principle of impermanence mean?

The principle of impermanence says that everything is fleeting and nothing belongs to us. The conquests, the pains, the recognitions, the disappointments, the parents, the children, the personality, the material goods, the friends. There is nothing that escapes the law of impermanence.

Understanding this is the key to letting go of expectations in relationships. If the other is a passenger, he does not belong to us. If it doesn’t belong to us, we have no control over it. If we don’t have control over it, we can’t change it, even though we can do our best at all times to offer our talents at the maximum level.

Therefore, we can only accept the other as he is, without waiting for him to change, giving our best. That’s it Unconditional love. When we love unconditionallywe stopped playing games of “I’ll only stay with you if you change”.

These emotional blackmail and attachments cease to make sense. We started giving ourselves completely without expecting anything in return. After all, the reward for giving your best is the very awareness that we are doing our duty.

When we realize that our parents, children, spouse or friends are not ours, they are just in our lives temporarily, we stop trying to control them.

Giving up control and simply doing your best is love.

This does not mean running away from responsibility. A mother can give her teenage son the best advice possible and let him decide what to do. Feeding the idea that you can control your child will only lead to frustration.

O Suffering arises from the denial of the principle of impermanence. It comes from expectation. The other alternative is to let go of the expectation and attempt to control the world and people, adapting to what is available and possible in each moment.

That state of serving the world with your talents at the highest level without expecting anything in return is Love.

6 types of relationships to apply the universal principles

It is very important that we pay attention to the different types of relationships, as one of the spheres helps the other to flow. The same goes for areas of life.

The more we evolve in our relationships, the more abundance and fluidity we generate for our finances, career, purpose, self-esteem and health.

Friendships: people we attract by similarity and who are our allies in the pursuit of our goals in life. The foundation of friendships is speaking the truth. For this, we must give up trying to please at any cost, prioritizing honesty;
Partnerships: it can be both the spouse, and partners. With them we share values ​​and purposes, at the same time that we have complementary opposite characteristics in the personality. Partnership relationships are of high importance for the development of consciousness, for in them the mirror principle of the law of projection is highly evident;
Yourself: our relationship with ourselves and with our essence (Self or Higher Self), working as a way to transcend the ego. The more we connect with God or Something Greater, the more we recognize the essence in ourselves;
Others (citizenship): relationship with our surroundings, the social groups we are part of and our social duties. For this type of relationship to flow, we can rely on truth, kindness, dialogue and respect;
Family: relationship with parents and children, extremely impactful for our happiness. Once again, it is important to remember that our parents and children are not ours, they are just sharing a phase of their existence with us;
God or Mentor: relationship with Something Greater, the Universe, Life or an Infinite Loving Power. This is the most important relationship of all, having the greatest impact on our happiness.

If you are interested in developing the operating principles in all types of relationships, we recommend reading the book The Power of Empathy. Through this work, you will have access to didactic concepts and suggestions for simple and powerful practices to improve all your personal relationships, developing habits that align with the universal laws of wisdom and love.