I live a love triangle |

You meet someone wonderful… but committed. Although hesitant, he allows himself to live this passion. The relationship is happening and before you know it, you start to feel uncomfortable. If you catch yourself wanting the person just for you. Will it work?

Everything we do in life are choices. We experience the results of our decisions, which may be conscious or unconscious. When we realize what we are doing, it is easier to change, but when the choices are unconscious, that is, without realizing it, we are deeply driven by some distorted feeling, the situation brings us consequences and corresponding circumstances. They will make us have to face this unconscious imbalance. After all, this is the real quality of energy that we put into the situation – and it will be with the unfolding of that energy that we will have to deal with, since we were the ones who created it.

It may not be easy to take on this responsibility, as we think, “How could I choose something so difficult? I didn’t want this situation! I just want my relationship to work!” But unconsciously, we do not realize that, even when on a physical level we are apparently doing everything “right”, on an energetic level, our real motivation may be masking occult feelings, hidden within us.

Your choice, your responsibility

It is our responsibility to assess the risks implicit in the situation and which of them we are willing to take. It doesn’t matter what the other says, promises or how they behave. Because if we condition our decision to that of the other, we leave aside all other possibilities. We delude ourselves with our own expectations, with what we prefer to believe. Risks always exist, even more so in delicate situations. Therefore, we can take into account what the other says, but when making our choice, we must do so free of expectations about the other. We can make sincere choices, from the heart, by our free choice, aware that anything can happen. As Joshua David Stone says, we can have preferences, but not expectations or attachments. We achieve greater harmony when we make decisions based on what we want and what we pay for, without making them conditional on results.

We bet and act, within our free will and the free will of the other, so that the result of our preference comes true. There is a difference between doing our part and coercing the other, whether it be openly, with actions and words, or just energetically, with our exaggerated intention or sick will. The perception of health and exaggeration is perceived in our own feelings: love, freedom, joy mean harmony. Anguish, anxiety, euphoria in turn indicate disharmonious energies. Going beyond that free will means disrespecting ourselves and everyone involved. It is necessary to know how to understand the risks of our choices to better deal with them.

But isn’t the other also responsible?

The participation of the other, or others, in our choice and in our process is always supportive. They also have their learnings, otherwise they would not be involved in this situation. But other people’s decisions and lessons from them are solely and solely their responsibility. And that has to be very clear so that we don’t mix our choices and our process with the choices and process of others. Even though other people’s decisions affect us, each one has their learnings, and has to deal with their own life. It is necessary that each party knows how to separate what is up to them, without trying to pass on responsibilities to the other, as well as not taking ownership of choices that are not theirs.

Therefore, when we ask ourselves what decision to make in the face of a love triangle, this choice must be made with a focus on our real will. Of course, the choice of the other can influence ours. But our decision cannot be conditioned to that of the other, because in this way we surrender our personal power, our decision-making power. We often make our decisions conditional on those of others so we don’t have to take responsibility for our own – and so we can place the other as responsible for our unhappiness. But if we choose to place our expectations on the other, then we can’t blame him for his choice, whatever it may be. Just like us, he has the right to choose whatever he wants.

And when the partner doesn’t end the other relationship to be with me?

It could be that your partner discovers that he really loves the other person. Or even if he loves you, and even wants to be with you, he may prefer to take other circumstances into account and choose not to give up the other relationship. That’s your partner’s choice, and it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, or that the relationship went wrong, or that you’re being punished. But it simply means that the other’s choice was different from what you would like it to be. We can even get upset when things don’t go the way we want, but we can’t surrender to the victim feeling. At least we have a great learning opportunity in this situation!

In the second part of this article, we will reflect on whether it is worth continuing to live the love triangle. See you soon!

Get to know the book Para que o Amor Happen and understand how certain attitudes influence your love life.