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I apply zero contact but it does NOT look for me

I understand you, you applied zero contact to a very important person in your life, but he is not looking for you. I tried to do the same and he didn’t immediately come to me either.

The important thing about zero contact is to understand that it is a technique that can improve your relationship, but it does not guarantee that the other person will look for you. It is also essential to consider that zero contact is not a magical solution and it may take time and effort to finally get a person to approach you.

Let’s start by understanding exactly what zero contact is.

What is zero contact?

Zero contact is a technique used in romantic or friendship relationships, in which one person decides not to have communication with the other, for a certain period of time.

The goal of this technique is to give both parties space to reflect on the relationship and allow any issues or tensions to resolve naturally.

How to correctly apply zero contact?

Applying zero contact correctly involves following some specific guidelines:

1) Define a deadline

Establishes a certain period of time for the course of the zero contact. This can be a few weeks or even months. It is important to be specific and meet the deadline. By doing this it will be easier to comply and they will be able to consciously use this period to improve the relationship, if they wish.

2) Be honest

You must be honest with the other person about your intentions to take time apart. Be sure to make your intention clear, for example, that you don’t want to get away forever, but rather to resolve the issues that arose in the relationship. It is very important to let the other person know that what you want is to work as a couple. If you have doubts about your relationship, you should also tell him that.

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3) Avoid contact

During the zero contact period, respect physical and virtual non-contact. This includes phone calls, texting, or social media interactions like commenting on posts or liking stories. It is essential to do this with commitment, to be able to deepen the reflection that each one makes, for the resolution of the conflicts they have.

4) Reflect

Use this time to reflect on your relationship and what you want with it for the future. Consider how you can improve your bond and what you expect from the other person. Try not to divert your attention from this goal by being distracted with friends and doing leisure activities too often. It is important to take a break to renew energy, but it should not become something constant that disorients you from your main objective: to fix your relationship.

5) You must be patient

Zero contact can be really difficult at times. But it is important to be calm and patient to give the process the time it needs. You cannot expect the relationship to be fixed overnight.

6) Do not feel rejected

Zero contact is a method to renew a relationship, if they initially establish it in this way. So you must understand that it does not necessarily mean that the other person does not want to be with you. It is elementary not to feel rejected, since it can be a great opportunity to improve your sentimental connection.

What are the benefits of zero contact?

“Zero contact” can have certain potential benefits in a relationship:

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Clarity. Zero contact gives you time and space to reflect on what you really want and need from a relationship. Think if the person you are with can manage to give it to you in some way and accordingly move forward with it. Plus, it makes you think about how much effort you’re willing to put into it and where your tolerance limit is.

Setting limits. Zero contact can help establish clear boundaries in a relationship with your partner, especially in cases of harassment or abuse. Otherwise, it may be the beginning to finally move away from a person who hurts you. In a healthy connection, having a certain margin for the actions of both parties and respecting it favors care and affection towards the other person.

Improvement of self-esteem. Zero contact can help restore your self-confidence and improve your self-esteem by allowing you to take control of your life and make healthy decisions about yourself. There are times when people are abused by a partner and do not realize it. By taking distance, you can visualize this and gain confidence in not allowing it.

emotional protection. If you find yourself in the particular situation of being with a harmful or toxic person, avoiding contact with them can protect you from emotional distress. In addition, it will give you time to heal and leave this person behind permanently.

However, it’s important to remember that zero contact is not an extraordinary fix for all relationship problems. Additionally, it should be considered along with other options such as open communication and professional therapy.

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Final thoughts

In relationships, “zero contact” can be used as a temporary or permanent distancing strategy. This can serve to protect yourself emotionally from an unhealthy relationship or to solve problems in a normal relationship.

However, it can sometimes be harmful, as completely avoiding contact with a person can make it difficult to resolve conflicts in a relationship.

Therefore, it is important to carefully assess whether “zero contact” is the best strategy in your particular case. Many times there are other options, such as going to a professional psychologist or talking honestly face to face, that may work better, considering the particularity of your case.

Now that you understand what zero contact is all about, its benefits, and how to apply it correctly, you can put it to good use. If you still have doubts if this method is for you, you can consult with your family or trusted friends. They will surely give you their honest opinion or help you find a better alternative.

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