There are discussions and discussions. Some are processed in a less rational way and don’t get bigger. Others, on the other hand, give rise to insults, loud voices and hurtful insults. That’s when many wonder how to reconcile after a big argument.

The issue may be more complex than it seems, because redoing what has been done or denying what has been said is never possible. Something remains of this discomfort on both sides.

However, when the relationship has value, you have to find the path to reconciliation after a big argument.

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Sometimes the conflict is simply because something was said at a bad time. At other times, this is because there are already inappropriate patterns within the relationship.

Whatever your case, these tips can help you know how to reconcile after a big argument.

1. What’s the first step in making amends after a big argument?

If the argument was too strong and hurt both of you, it’s better not to try to fix things so quickly. You are probably still on edge and will have difficulty reacting calmly to any word the other says.

Start by taking something positive out of it all. In the beginning, you always saw the other’s mistake. As the days go by, you begin to realize that you also make mistakes and realize your own flaws.

In other words, some time and some distance are factors that help to broaden the perspective of the problem.

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2. Analyze the feelings involved

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It is very important to reflect on what exactly was happening before the discussion. Were there any factors that altered the mood of either of you?

Analyzing this allows us to identify the possible external elements that influenced the conflict. If you were tired, hungry, or upset about something, it’s possible that you just get carried away by that feeling.

On the other hand, if everything was calm and apparently normal, and yet a strong conflict was unleashed, one can think that the matter is more substantive and particular to the couple.

That’s why it’s important to stop and identify all the feelings involved. Fear, guilt, pent-up anger. In this way, you will find the way to reconciliation after a great argument.

3. Constructive dialogue

The next step is to look for the other person to start a dialogue. It is necessary to do it at the right time. It is not convenient to speed up the processes because of the desire to reconcile after a big argument. You should read the other person’s signals and see if he/she still feels hurt or if he/she has stabilized his/her anger.

First you must tell this person that you want to speak with them to clarify what happened. If your answer is reluctant, you will surely need a little more time. If you agree, and if possible, it is better to find a different place than usual, which will help in reconciliation.

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Basically, you must expose what you feel and how you feel. Talk about how his/her actions or words made you feel.

Just refer to your feelings. Don’t try to guess or attribute feelings to him/her. This is his/her responsibility. whom you should listen carefully and without interrupting.

4. Forgive and Forget

Forgiveness is an alliance that the couple must be willing to keep. It means the commitment of the will not to fall into the mistakes that provoked the discussion. It is advisable that this forgiveness be mutual.

If a similar situation occurs again, it is necessary to review the patterns in which the relationship is passing. Often, without realizing it, we introduce inappropriate ways of relating to the other person. It is a deeper case, which must be examined carefully.

Sometimes the path to reconciliation after a big argument is relatively clear. Other times, not so much. In the latter case, constructive dialogue may not be enough, but a deeper process and professional help is needed.

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