How to deal with children who behave like adults

High heels, make-up, kissing on the mouth… This is all normal in the universe of 14 or 15 year olds, but not in the world of 6 or 7 year olds. Boys and girls who are interested in music, movies, television shows, clothes and objects inappropriate for their age can suffer from “early adultization”.

An example of this is when a 5-year-old girl sensually dances as if she were the singer Anitta. Why is this bad? “Because a child has to be a child. She cannot skip this very important stage of life, which is childhood! This can compromise healthy development,” says psychologist Camila Muylaert.

Square of eight? No way!

Children are a mirror of their parents’ behavior. The way you dress, talk and live with others is more important for the child’s formation than the advice you give. “Listening to adult conversations about sex and having access to inappropriate content is a danger”, warns psychologist Camila. That is: avoid leaving the child in front of the TV or the computer watching dances like the “eight square”, for example, which can bring enormous damage. In addition to losing the innocence of childhood, this early contact with the erotic universe leaves children more exposed to the risk of suffering sexual abuse or an untimely pregnancy. In more extreme cases, this can even bring forward the first menstruation. A survey carried out in the United States revealed that at the beginning of the last century menarche (first menstruation) occurred between 14 and 15 years of age. Currently, it happens between 10 and 11 years. This is because early erotization stimulates, ahead of time, the production of teenage hormones. It is the adults who must avoid the contact of the little ones with music, TV programs and websites that are inappropriate for their age. Therefore, exercise your role as a mother safely and never be afraid to say “this cannot be done” to your children.

3 mistakes parents should avoid

1. Encourage the use of adult clothing

Many couples encourage the use of accessories and adult clothing because they think it’s cute for a child to “dress up” as a mini-adult.

The solution: it’s okay to let the child walk around the house with the mother’s shoe to imitate her when playing. But not playing around to watch makeup videos on the internet – and putting on makeup afterwards – is harmful. Propose more constructive activities, such as drawing.

2. Invent flirtations between children

Insinuate, in a malicious tone, that the son or daughter is “already” dating a friend from school or the neighborhood.

The solution: Dating is not a kid’s business. By doing this kind of game, the adult awakens the interest of the little ones ahead of time for something they are not prepared for. It’s very healthy for boys and girls to be friends and play together in a good way, but no one needs to treat this type of relationship as a flirtation or something, agreed?

3. Overloading responsibilities

Some families send the eldest child to clean the whole house, prepare food and take care of younger siblings.

The solution: Helping around the house is great for a child’s development, but taking on adult responsibilities is too much of a burden for someone who hasn’t even entered adolescence yet. Decrease the amount of chores for the little one and make sure he has time to play every day.

Source: Camila Junqueira Muylaert, clinical psychologist and doctoral student at the Faculty of Medicine of the University of São Paulo.