How Men Have Changed in the Last 100 Years (And Why We Might Forget Gentlemen)

British researchers found that over the past 100 years, men have become 10 cm taller and have also gained significantly weight. But at the same time, they weakened. The lack of activity decreases the muscle strength of young people, making them 9 kg less than their parents at the same age. Now it matches that of modern women aged 30-34.

O awesome.club decided to find out how men today differ from their fathers and grandfathers. And the internal changes were even more curious than the external ones.

“A successful man is one who earns more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is the one who finds a man like that.”🇧🇷 This is a quote from the popular actress Lana Turner, typical of the 1950s. In the post-war years, an American woman would be discriminated against if she decided to work instead of keeping an eye on her home and children. Now, the word “housewife” seems almost derogatory: women often earn more than their husbands.

For the filming of a documentary, the Swedish journalist Peter Letmark tried to find a woman who would dedicate herself exclusively to housework and children, but he could not find her: the few that remained did not want their status to be recognized.

Consequently, modern men rarely play the role of sole caretaker of the entire family or sole breadwinner. Financial responsibilities are usually shared between the two partners.

Swedish law stipulates that if a family wants to receive full payment for parental leave, it must share it between the couple. In this case, each spouse must spend at least 90 days on leave from work. This encourages men to participate in raising their children and allows women not to give up on promising work.

In many countries, parents are the only ones who take leave. In the United States alone, 2.2 million men were the only ones to take time off from work in 2010. Studies have shown that greater communication with the father has a positive effect on children:

if the father is actively involved in the care of the baby during the first 8 months, the child will cope better with stress in the school years and show more empathy in adult life;

regular communication between the father and the son or daughter helps the child to avoid attention deficit disorder and to study better in school, besides being a factor that decreases the likelihood that she will need to see a psychologist;

There is also an assumption that boys whose father was involved in upbringing are less narcissistic and aggressive, and girls, in turn, are less passive.

In some countries, however, taking paternity leave is not as common. In Russia, for example, 39% of men are ready to take leave in place of their wife, but in practice only 2% do it. In addition, the Russians themselves, as a rule, are convinced that the mother should keep the baby and rarely support the idea of ​​\u200b\u200ba male caregiver.

The concept of a “real man” is directly related to the idea of ​​honor. It was the need to maintain honor and reputation that drove men to do the right thing for centuries: respect a woman, protect the weak, be firm and unwavering in decisions. Traditional honor was based on a code—a set of rules that must be followed. By adhering to them, a person he received respect in his midst, and by violating them he could always dishonor his name.🇧🇷

The code of honor was forged into men and boys by special organizations: brotherhoods, knightly orders, and scout or pioneer squads. Today these societies have almost disappeared, and each one, to the extent of his education, decides what he considers shameful for himself and what is worthy, thus forming a personal code of honor.

And the result is the following:

We need not expect gentlemanly treatment from men. Imagine a situation: a girl is walking home accompanied by a man, and someone shouts a vulgar remark behind her on the way. Traditionally, understanding honor (you must pay for the insult), a woman at such moments hopes that her companion will teach the offender a lesson. However, for a modern man, personal good (whole teeth and bones) can be more valuable than protecting a woman.

Any inappropriate actions go unnoticed. Knights or other warriors could not escape the battlefield without dishonoring the name. Most of us now live in cities and don’t know anything about our neighbors. You can live in a house for 10 years without suspecting that the handsome guy in the upstairs apartment is an abuser. And on the Internet we are even more faceless, so public condemnation is not uncommon.

The boundaries of morality are fuzzy. Violation of the honor code threatened the person who inflicted it, and therefore it was taken more seriously than the laws. Now, we see men who leave their pregnant wives and pay no child support and still not lose the respect of their friends.

Men have no reason to accomplish great deeds. The actions will go unnoticed by the majority, and the laws are not always on the hero’s side: protecting a woman from a criminal and exceeding self-defense can easily lead to arrest.

There is an opinion that modern films have become more boring (especially if you remove a bunch of special effects from them) due to the fact that the characters do not have to overcome obstacles. They are not burdened with a moral code, everything is allowed, just go with the flow. Compare them to past heroes who fought for justice, defended the weak, or were forced to avenge a relative or friend.

But the personal honor code has an advantage: it allows not only to evaluate a person from the outside, but appeal to your conscience. Previously, a man would calmly cheat on his wife if he did it unnoticed, now these actions turn him into a deceiver and a hypocrite.

American Jerrod Martin was arrested by police after returning to a burning house to save his dog. He was accused of putting his life and that of firefighters at risk.

Gentlemen followed the rules and regulations established by society. But the rules themselves are hopelessly out of date.

There is no longer any need to protect the female reputation: ordinary girls don’t care about it, famous ones even less. If a man, a century ago, were to mention the names of women with whom he had a loving relationship but was not married, they could be seen as immoral. Today, such information does not bother anyone. There is a discussion about the need to make room for the woman to open the door in front of her: some may consider this attitude unequal. No need to be careful about what you say: swear words are no longer taboo. They can even serve as a compliment, the main thing is to say it with the right intonation and at the right time.

Perhaps, of all that was previously attributed to true gentlemen, only the ability to treat people with equal respectregardless of who they are, be relevant: be it a fast food waiter or the president of a famous multinational.

Until recently, public displays of affection for men were frowned upon. They had to be tough, stern. The peasants did not feel much affection for their wife and children and could, if necessary, prove their innocence with their fists. The lack of women’s rights was impressive: in England, between the 17th and 19th centuries, husbands sold their wives on the market, as an object.

Now, the manifestation of emotions by men is not considered shameful. They are more and more loving parents, and relations between spouses are built on an equal footing.

Although recently another trend has emerged: young men and teenagers are becoming more rational in their relationships🇧🇷 They assess their emotions soberly, they can show them, but they avoid attachments. And although such self-sufficiency allows them to avoid many problems, they are unlikely to be able to experience strong feelings in life.

We are all more or less dependent on stereotypes, and sometimes it can seem that “something is wrong” with men. But, in fact, there is no reason to worry.

Men don’t need to demonstrate their bravery, modern life does not require significant strength. An IT expert who can’t lift anything heavier than a mouse earns more than a porter with powerful muscles. There is no need to duel for the honor of a beautiful lady: some girls will respond to the offender at the height, or even better, and in a critical situation she can call the police.

Some women are ashamed that their husbands stay with the children and take care of the house instead of working. But if you feel good together and you earn enough to support a family, why should that bother you? And if your husband does nothing around the house and you are tired of him, now you can divorce.

Many men are not as brave as they used to be. But thanks to the fact that they discovered emotions in themselves, they can become good fathers, take part in their partners’ childbirth, better understand their wives or girlfriends.

Husbands no longer consider housework shameful. This is a topic that causes discussion among 43% of working spouses (that number is 23% in the case of money). Couples who agreed to share homework were twice as likely to get divorced. Obviously, it’s not always easy to include men in cleaning or cooking, so it’s necessary to talk and establish the rules.

And you, what qualities do you value in men? How do you think boys should be brought up to become good people?