Last night I had a moment where I felt like God wasn’t listening to me because I’ve been asking for the same things for a long time and for some reason I still haven’t received them. For some reason He wants me to wait a little longer. For some reason, He keeps making lessons difficult.

At first I thought I wasn’t asking for things the right way. I tried to improve my prayers and I even talked to God in different languages, I asked in many different ways, because I thought that if I could improve my words, it would make a difference. Maybe He would pay more attention if I said the right words.

I thought if I found the perfect prayer, God wouldn’t say no. But then I realized that God knows what’s on his heart whether I say it or not. God knows what I want without me having to say a word. God doesn’t need reminders. God does not forget.

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He hasn’t forgotten what you wished for last year or ten years ago. He did not forget his prayers. He hasn’t forgotten the nights you cried because there was no one else on his side. He knows what’s in your heart.

The truth is, God will not always give you what you ask for, no matter how much you pray or what kind of prayer you use. He doesn’t always make it easy for you. He won’t give you things just because you’re begging. ‘Cause He knows what’s really on your heart, He knows what’s best for you.. He knows what your heart doesn’t need and what your heart desires. He knows what will heal your heart forever, not temporarily. He knows what will soften your heart. He knows your heart better than you do. God wants you to know that, at the end of the day, your heart is in His hands. It belongs to Him.

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You can even go for a walk, try new methods, new prayers, but that won’t help. It won’t change His plan. It won’t convince you that your plan is better. Maybe God doesn’t want you to say everything out loud, maybe He just wants you to have faith in your silence. In the moments when you feel that He is absent. On days when you can’t get out of bed because life doesn’t seem to make sense. The nights when you can’t sleep because your heart is heavy. In the weeks or months when you feel dead inside because you can’t remember the last thing that made you feel alive.

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Maybe it’s not so much about what we say to God, but more about what He’s trying to tell us. Maybe we are so busy asking Him for things that we forget to pay attention to what He has to say.

Perhaps we find God more in silence, when we don’t know what to say, when we can’t express how we feel, when the world no longer makes sense; this is where we feel most connected to Him.