Friendship relationships: how do they evolve throughout life?

Friendship relationships play a fundamental role in our lives.. We all care about having bonds of affection and trust. We need others to develop and live a pleasant life. But what exactly is friendship? What are these relationships like throughout life stages?

Friendship is an emotional relationship based on the dimensions of trust and commitment of Sternberg’s theory. However, There is a wide variability about what each individual thinks about friendship relationships.. This is due to the existing constructive factors around this concept. The subjectivity of each person will greatly influence, altering the criteria that define friendship.

In general, For adults, a friendship relationship is not a one-way relationship, but rather it must be two-way. Friendship implies mutual psychological satisfaction characterized by understanding the feelings and thoughts of both people. However, during childhood we observe very different friendship relationships. Next, we explain how friendship relationships evolve throughout life,

Development of friendship relationships

According to Damon and Fuentes, friendship has different stages, each of them with specific characteristics:

Friendship relationships in early childhood

We are talking about the period between 0 and 2 years of age. At this stage it is difficult to talk about friendship in the strict sense, but we have the first approximations to social life. Studies tell us that young children initiate and maintain more interactions with familiar people than with those who are strangers. This preference involves the acquisition of trust with those you identify as acquaintances.

Furthermore, children prefer to interact with peers with whom they have had positive and pleasant experiences, rather than with those who involved some type of conflict. Therefore, We could talk about the beginning of friendship relationships, where the child chooses with whom to exchange games and express positive affection..

Friendship relationships in the preschool stage

The preschool stage is included between 2 and 6 years, just before starting primary education. In this age group, children They present an egocentric vision when it comes to understanding and analyzing friendship relationships.. They do not distinguish their own perspective from those of others, since a theory of mind has not yet been developed.

Therefore, these friendship relationships are characterized by unstable encounters where breakup comes easily, especially when there are interpersonal conflicts. Generally, children are friends of those who live nearby or classmates. In summary, They are unstable relationships based on closeness and, to a large extent, directed and controlled by the children’s parents or caregivers.

Friendship relationships at school

This evolutionary stage includes from when the child starts school until reaching adolescence, between 6 and 12 years. These friendly relationships They are characterized by maintaining a relationship of cooperation and mutual help.

At these ages, children begin to understand others, thus abandoning their egocentric vision of friendship. Now, they choose peers who show them affection and They care about your needs and demands.

At this stage, the concept of friendship is close to that of most adults. The relationships are of a more lasting nature. If they continue until adolescence, they can create a close and highly emotional bond.

Friendship relationships in adolescence

This period It begins at approximately 12 years of age and lasts until 18 years of age. Friendship relationships are conceived like adults. Adolescents consider friendship as a lasting relationship based on mutual knowledge and where affection takes a leading role.

At this stage, friendship relationships become much deeper, expressing values of loyalty, trust, intimacy and sincerity. Friends are chosen based on psychological characteristics and similar interests and hobbies.

From adolescence onwards, friendship relationships become enriched due to the multitude of experiences lived. Distance and occasional conflicts are no longer an obstacle to maintaining and enjoying the emotional bond created.

According to this classification Friendship relationships change over time, influenced by the evolutionary development of the individual. Now, we cannot forget that friendship is a subjective concept that each person builds taking into account different variables. The important thing is to understand what friendship is for each of us to relate to each other in an appropriate and satisfactory way.

Friendship relationships and the passage of time

Friendship relationships undoubtedly change over time. Some friends from school stay along the way and we meet new people at university or at work. On many occasions we think that those who will be there in our worst moments do not appear later. As mentioned at the beginning, friendship is a very subjective and bidirectional concept. However, it is full of nuances.

Some people, despite receiving “hits” from their friends, forgive them, remain there, understand their mood swings, etc. From the outside one could say that it is a one-way relationship, but those who experience it understand that the other person can be a little “special.” How many times have we heard the expression: “I don’t know how you can handle it!” Friendships can be very diverse and surprising. The important thing, no matter how different we are from each other, is to grow.