Friendship is worth more than money and routine for our well-being

Since long before you and your mother were born, Harvard University discovered the most important factor in a person’s mental and physical health: friendship. And that hasn’t changed 80 years ago, when the institution began the world’s largest study on the subject.

Based on interviews and physical examinations carried out with volunteers of all ages, ethnicities and socioeconomic profiles, researchers annually come to the conclusion that, more than money, genetics, eating habits and routine, what maintains well-being of people is to have friends.

According to research, those who have strong bonds of friendship live 10 years longer than those who prefer to remain isolated. And if the group is at least 4 people, the risk of heart disease is halved.

True friend celebrates our joys

“The greatest wealth in life is having friends with whom we can share sadness, anguish and, above all, joy”, says the psychologist Gabriela Malzyner🇧🇷

That little end of what she said is crucial: the great indication that a friendship is real is support in the happy moments of life. “It’s easy to stand by someone’s side when things go wrong for them, to listen to their whining. But vibrating with her conquests and good times without generating feelings of envy is a true friend’s thing ”, she guarantees.

Another detail that shows that friendship is for real is the lack of interests beyond company. You know that thing about liking for liking? That.

Psychologist Cristiane Costa Cruz gives the tip: “An important thing to observe is whether there isn’t some kind of momentary interest on the part of someone who is trying to force a friendship. People who already praise you too much are not trustworthy, as they demonstrate that they are looking for something in exchange for these compliments. Not that one cannot praise or be praised, but everything has the right measure”.

Did you feel a bit over attitude? It’s best to stay on the back foot, at least initially.

Friends are the family we choose

Making and keeping friends is fundamental in building our identity with each circle of people we meet in a new job, at the club, at the gym, on a course, in a change of city. There is no age limit for new friendships; they are fundamental to our well-being throughout life. “We are gregarious beings. Feeling loved, welcomed and belonging to a group is important for our mental health”, says Cristiane.

Read more: Friendship “at first sight” happens, yes – and science explains

Furthermore, according to Gabriela, it is friends who show us that we can expand what we learn in the family nucleus to the world. They end up being our family away from home, the family we choose. “We build our identity in the family and explore it socially. Friends are proof that we fit in more places than our home”, says the psychologist.

Polyamity: It’s healthy to have multiple classes at the same time

If you’re the type that has a group in every place you go, you don’t have to worry about trying to integrate everyone. “It’s very rich to have several groups, because no one is the same person all the time, and the affinities can be varied”, observes Gabriela.

Read too: 6 ways to teach children to cultivate friendship

So it’s okay to have those friends we like to go to the movies with, the others who are nice to talk nonsense, the ones who help solve problems. And it’s okay that they don’t even know each other.

“We don’t share all things with all friends. The cool thing about friendship is precisely being able to enjoy what each one can offer of good. Sometimes it is possible to mix, sometimes not. It’s more a matter of personal style, because there’s no right or wrong in forming friendships”, concludes Cristiane.