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Domestic violence: understand what it is, the signs and how to get out of this situation

Seeing that one of the most common forms of violence in society occurs within the home itself seems absurd, but it is reality. Domestic violence covers alarming rates, with women being the biggest victims of this situation.

As one of the best weapons against any type of violence is information, we interviewed a psychologist and a lawyer who are experts on the subject to answer all your questions.

What is domestic violence?

Law no. 11.340/2006, Chapter I, Art. 5 – any action or omission based on gender that causes death, injury, physical, sexual or psychological suffering and moral or property damage constitutes domestic and family violence against women.

Lawyer Danilo Pontes (OAB/RJ nº 217.078) defines domestic violence as any type of violence that is practiced between members who inhabit a common family environment, and can happen between people with blood ties (such as parents and children) or united in civil form (as husband and wife or son-in-law and mother-in-law).

Psychologist Fillipe Lucas de Souza (CRP/RJ nº 05/53.781) points out that domestic violence can go beyond family life, also covering the neighborhood, for example. He also states that the aggressor is usually a person who puts himself in a superior position, taking advantage of this situation to provoke abuse.

Types of domestic violence

Domestic violence includes not only physical aggression. The Maria da Penha Law provides for five types of domestic and family violence against women: physical, psychological, moral, sexual and patrimonial (chapter II, art. 7, items I, II, III, IV and V).

  • Psychological violence: it is subjective and difficult to be detected at first by society. In this type of violence, the aggressor mistreats the victim through embarrassment, threats, manipulation, jealousy attacks… As a result, there is a decrease in the victim’s self-esteem, which can cause emotional illnesses such as depression, anxiety and panic syndrome.
  • Physical violence: It is the most visible and known form of violence. It usually occurs as the trigger for the accumulation of a series of psychological aggressions.
  • Sexual violence: occurs when the aggressor engages in sexual intercourse without the victim’s consent. It represents a lot of gender issues as it usually involves men’s aggression towards women. Child sexual abuse, unfortunately, is also a common form of sexual violence within homes, precisely because of the superiority relationship between aggressor and victim.
  • Property violence: it is characterized by the prohibition of access to the person’s own assets, rights and financial resources. Although it is best known in affective relationships, this type of violence also often occurs with the elderly.
  • Moral violence: concerns the aggression on the victim’s integrity and conduct. It may involve slander, acts of defamation, exposure and slander.
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If you identify any of these events in your relationships, stay tuned and seek help. Domestic violence can have many faces and it is essential to understand the signs to report it (call 180), get out of a violent relationship or even help other people in this situation.

cycle of domestic violence

The American psychologist and researcher Leonor Walker identified that domestic violence happens in a cyclical way. From this systematization, it is possible to understand the behavior of the aggressor, even those that appear to be positive. Follow the explanation taken from the Maria da Penha Institute website:

1. Voltage phase

“In this first moment, the aggressor is tense and irritated by insignificant things, even having fits of rage. He also humiliates the victim, makes threats and destroys objects.

The woman tries to calm the aggressor, becomes distressed and avoids any behavior that could ‘provoke’ him. The sensations are many: sadness, anguish, anxiety, fear and disappointment are just a few.

In general, the victim tends to deny that this is happening to them, hides the facts from others and often thinks that they did something wrong to justify the abuser’s violent behavior or that ‘he had a bad day at work’ , for example. This tension can last for days or years, but as it builds more and more, it is very likely that the situation will lead to Phase 2.”

2. Phase of aggression

“This phase corresponds to the aggressor’s explosion, that is, the lack of control reaches the limit and leads to the violent act. Here, all the tension accumulated in Phase 1 materializes in verbal, physical, psychological, moral or patrimonial violence.

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Even being aware that the aggressor is out of control and has great destructive power in relation to her life, the woman’s feeling is of paralysis and impossibility of reaction. Here, she suffers from severe psychological strain (insomnia, weight loss, constant fatigue, anxiety) and feels fear, hatred, loneliness, self-pity, shame, confusion, and pain.

At that moment, she can also make decisions – the most common are: seek help, report it, hide in the house of friends and relatives, ask for separation and even commit suicide. There is usually a detachment from the aggressor.”

3. Stage of repentance

“Also known as the ‘honeymoon’, this phase is characterized by the aggressor’s repentance, who becomes kind in order to achieve reconciliation. The woman feels confused and pressured to maintain her relationship in front of society, especially when the couple has children. In other words: she gives up her rights and resources, while he says that ‘it will change’.

There is a relatively calm period, in which the woman is happy to see the efforts and changes in attitude, also remembering the good times they had together. As there is a demonstration of remorse, she feels responsible for him, which narrows the relationship of dependence between victim and aggressor.

A mixture of fear, confusion, guilt and illusion are part of a woman’s feelings. Eventually, the tension returns, and with it, the Phase 1 aggression.”

Pay attention to realize that such acts set up a vicious cycle that needs to be broken. And again, seek help, whether from family members, specialized professionals or support and reporting services!

Domestic violence in Brazil

The rates of domestic violence in Brazil, unfortunately, are very high. In the period 2011-2013, it is estimated that there were, on average, 5,860 deaths of women from assault each year, 488 each month, sixteen each day, or one every one hour and thirty minutes (Analysis on Mortality of Women of 2016).

In 2021, the percentage of women who said they had suffered some type of violence or aggression in the last 12 months (during the COVID-19 pandemic) was 24.4%, which is equivalent to 17 million women. Most cases happen at home: 48.8% of them reported that the most serious violence suffered in the last year occurred in the domestic environment. On the other hand, 44.9% of women claim to have done nothing in the face of aggression (Report of the Brazilian Forum on Public Security, 2021).

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It is worth remembering that there are still cases of domestic violence not computed due to shame, coercion and fear that victims have to report.

With that, the important thing is to always be alert with the relationships around you. Based on the research, analyze the treatment that your friends, family and acquaintances have with each other, and establish protective measures if necessary.

How to report domestic violence

Through Dial 180 and/or police stations. Once the complaints are made by these means, they go through the Public Ministry, followed by the municipal bodies (CRAS and CREAS), which are responsible for investigating the facts. Then, an investigation is carried out, including home visits and family follow-up.

If you have identified yourself with any type of domestic violence, be aware that the report by Dial 180 can be anonymous.

Laws and punishments for domestic violence

According to Danilo Pontes, there are several legal provisions that protect women against domestic violence, however, the most publicized is Law 11.340/06, also known as Maria da Penha Law – read it in full.

Some of the penalties covered by the law are: failure to comply with urgent protective measures (detention from 3 months to 2 years), bodily harm (detention from 3 months to 12 years, depending on the degree of injury) and psychological violence (detention of 6 months to 1 year).

It is important to note that the Maria da Penha Law also protects trans, transvestites and lesbians.

The Brazilian Penal Code also provides for penalties for crimes of violence against women, such as mistreatment, threats, embarrassment, sexual exploitation, bodily harm, among others.

In addition to this legal support, there are services and institutes that can serve as a source of support and information, such as the Compromisso e Atitude Portal, the Patrícia Galvão Institute, the Maria da Penha Institute itself and the Women’s Secretariats.

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