For some decades it has been possible to observe people and science increasingly engaged in more precise answers in the area of sexuality, sex and orgasm. There is a lot of talk about the importance of having an active sex life, regardless of whether you have a serious relationship or not, as well as the need for sex to be safe, in order to avoid not only unwanted pregnancy, but especially so-called diseases. sexually transmitted.
Yes, there is a lot of information and even some “innovations” when it comes to sex, the search for pleasure. But there’s no denying it: all this causes many doubts and, in some cases, even an exaggerated search for “perfect sex”, for “intense pleasure”.
Keila Oliveira, psychologist, sexologist and sex therapist, comments that, over time, many answers (about sexuality, sex and orgasm) were found; and others have emerged much more as speculations and assumptions. “While we have evolved in technology and ready answers for everyday life, we have seen that this urgency to know everything and make life more practical and exceptional each day has become a very clear target, which practically every the world is looking for urgently”, he says.
“We have a true industry of happiness that is put every day in favor of gadgets and bombastic discoveries that make life easier and prevent us from facing frustrations and our own emotional involvement as a reflection of our achievements as well as our failures. In the area of sexuality, however, we have little news in terms of technology and advances in medicine, when compared to other areas of science: such as aesthetics, genetics, cardiology and infectology, for example”, he observes.
When it comes to sex, a very prominent topic is the so-called G-spot, surrounded, however, by many doubts. He would practically be “responsible” for providing maximum pleasure to the woman.
Keila explains that the term “G-spot” appeared in the 80s and has its origin in the allusion to studies in the area of female anatomy by the German physician Ernst Gräfenberg. “According to this concept, it would be a region found in the anterior region of the vagina, about 4 cm from the entrance to the vagina canal. It is believed that it would be exactly in the region close to the innervation of the clitoris and, therefore, responsible for orgasm”, he says.
Ricardo Luba, gynecologist, obstetrician and specialist in Human Reproduction, comments that there are those who agree and those who do not believe in the so-called G-spot. , says.
How to find the G-spot?
But what exactly is the G-spot? How to find it? Does it “work” for all women?
“To find the G-spot, insert the index finger into the vagina with the palm facing up. The vaginal wall in this region presents roughness, irregularities. Deepening the finger a little further, you can see that the vaginal wall becomes smooth. The G-spot is in the region of the anterior wall of the vagina, with roughness.”
Ricardo Luba, gynecologist, obstetrician and specialist in Reproduction
The gynecologist adds that masturbation and even the use of vibrators can help a woman find the G-spot. , guides.
Keila explains that she prefers to call this a “virtual region”. “It is extremely valid that it be explored, however, I call it that, because it works in some women, in others it does not. There are theories that it exists in all women, but in some it has not yet been found or stimulated properly. Others say that in some women this area is more prominent and, therefore, better accessible”, she ponders.
“What we must not lose sight of is that every woman is a complex and idiosyncratic world. What is great for some people can be downright weird for others, and that goes for anything in life, including sex and orgasm. Orgasm and female desire are still largely unknown areas, and much remains to be discovered”, highlights the sexologist.
“Over the years, serving couples and women with low desire, orgasm difficulties and sex-related problems, I have come closer and closer to the understanding that people are lazy in trying to achieve a more satisfying and broader sex life and look for answers ready the solution for a more fun sex life and sex ‘plus’, without having to work hard or invest all their creative side in it. And, it is precisely because I believe in this that I feel that the G-spot is so successful in the media, because it is more of a ready answer. ‘We found it! Hey! Our sex life from now on will be wonderful,’” says Keila.
The sexologist explains that the creative way of always looking for other answers and cool things for a sexual life and for a couple is wonderful: “we have to seek and reinvent, always. But we cannot fall for the deception that they are miraculous and solve our problem permanently”, she says.
Keila points out that the G-spot, in theory, is located very close to the entrance to the vagina, in the anterior part. “To find it, we must place our finger towards the pubes region and massage as if we had a ‘tick’, the so-called ‘come here’ movement. You should look for different types of touches, more delicate, with more pressure, faster, or slower. Each woman will be able to feel it in a different way,” she clarifies.
“What should be kept in mind is that the entire environment of the sexual act reflects on this; what I mean is that there is no point in investing in the G-spot without any preliminaries, without any climax, as if the G-spot were the ‘ON button’! In fact, in women, it is difficult to find a single ‘ON button’. I always say: there are lots of little buttons, and if you don’t turn on a combination of several of them, sex can turn out to be dull and monotonous. These ‘magic buttons’ are spread all over the body, in different erogenous zones, in our emotions, in our mind and even in our imagination. Connect a combination of them and the chance of success is very high”, encourages the sexologist.
5 moves and positions to take advantage of the G-spot
Keila explains that masturbation and vibrator help a lot to arouse various sensations in the female body, thus being excellent complements for sex.
For a woman to find her G-spot alone in masturbation is a little more complicated than with a partner, according to Keila. But below she gives some movement/position tips to help in both cases:
- Lying on your stomach, with your fingers seeking the upper part of the vagina canal with strong and slow movements;
- Lying on your stomach, with your fingers seeking the upper part of the vagina canal, simulating a quick penetration;
- Lying on your back, placing your finger inside the vagina as if you were digging a little hole towards the mattress;
- In masturbation, alone, the woman should seek the seated positions on the head of the bed, looking for a position in which it is comfortable to reach this region. It helps to put a pillow under her legs;
- Lying on your side in a fetal position with a pillow tucked between your legs.
Do men have a G-spot?
Keila explains that the male G-spot correlate would be the innervated region of the prostate, reached either by digital rectal examination or by the outer region of the perineum (between the testicles and the anus). “More than looking for ‘ready answers’ when it comes to sex and, in this case, the pleasure of men, it is better to seek to invest in caresses in various regions of the body and in different ways”, she says.
“Although not all, some men are simply terrified at the thought of being touched in this region (this is largely due to the myth that anal pleasure is related to homosexuality, which is not true). For these men, give up this attempt through the anus; the attempt may be more fruitful through the perineum and, even so, look there!”, comments the sexologist.
“Other men leave this preference declared to their partners and, if they don’t have reservations about it, ‘wonderful’. The man’s anus is an erogenous region, due to its proximity to the prostate that it is. The prostate, in turn, is an extremely vascularized and innervated region, which when stimulated provides intense pleasure”, adds Keila.
The truth is that, in the case of both women and men, it is always worth remembering that people are unique. What is good for one may not be good for another. There is no harm in trying to search for the so-called G-spot, on the contrary, this can be a pleasurable search. What is not valid is to be “obsessed” with it, thinking that this is the only way to truly pleasurable sex.
Dialogue between the pair is essential. Don’t be afraid to ask what the other likes or doesn’t like. “It’s always good to know how far your partner accepts or doesn’t accept certain caresses. Respecting the likes and limits of the other is an excellent path”, emphasizes Keila.
In sex, as in a relationship in general, there are no rules… The important thing is to want and be willing to live it at that particular moment!
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