Do you know how to differentiate jealousy and possession? |

It is often said that jealousy is the spice of a relationship, as it makes people feel desired and valued. And that when in excess, jealousy embarrasses, hurts and imprisons. However, what we see in the other’s behavior is not always jealousy. It is often a matter of ownership. But how to differentiate one thing from the other?

Jealousy usually happens when the feeling of loss is triggered and this often has to do with a sexual context.

For example, if your boyfriend talks to a man, an ugly girl, an elderly woman or even a child, you are fine. But if he stays next to a pretty girl, his jealousy soon lights up, because his biggest fear, even before he falls in love with another, is that he has some physical contact with her.

Of course, there are different levels of showing jealousy, ranging from the one who seems indifferent to the one who screams in the middle of the street whenever he feels threatened.

On the other hand, ownership is a constant feeling, as it implies the creation of a relationship in which one owns the other. That is, everything that one does must first be approved by the other, from the clothes he wears, the places he goes to, the people he goes out with, etc.

In this sense, those who have a sense of ownership do not give their partner any freedom, not even for them to be themselves.

Of course, as with jealousy, there are different levels of possession. Incidentally, many people can alternately be jealous and possessive, depending on the situation.

Dealing with the problem

who is jealous

You need to learn to be more self-confident, remembering that there is no better way to know if someone loves you or not than to allow them to meet other interesting people and still come home with you.

Is there a risk that this will not happen? Yes, but despite the disappointment you may feel, it is clear that the feeling was not as strong as you imagined. Besides, it’s a sign of self-worth to congratulate yourself for having avoided staying with someone who didn’t really love you, instead of being sad or thinking badly about yourself.

Who is the victim of jealousy

Have, in the first place, compassion for your better half, because what moves you is the fear of losing. Try, therefore, to be flexible and avoid very obvious situations, such as paying too much attention to an attractive person in front of your partner.

You don’t need to change your personality, just find the right measure for you to be free while respecting the other’s feelings.

who is possessive

Remember that there is no fun in having a shadow by your side, as there is nothing better than having a partner who surprises you with his personality, ideas and actions.

After all, that’s how we become more interesting and complete people. If the other always says “amen” to everything you say, what relationship is this anyway? You could just be alone, that wouldn’t make much difference.

Also, wanting to possess someone is affirming how insecure we are of our personal power to the point of having to force someone to stay with us and do everything we want.

Who is a victim of possession

First ask yourself why you got into this situation, because for someone to command us, we need to accept this intervention beforehand.

Somehow the dominated person is just as insecure as the dominate. Try to be strong and don’t be afraid to show your real personality.

If this is not accepted, no problem. There are certainly other people who are looking for someone exactly like you and who will respect and approve of your individuality.

To continue reflecting on the topic

Many movies, books and plays have portrayed these two feelings. How about knowing some works to be able to reflect more on the subject?

Films like “Nunca Mais” (2001), starring Jennifer Lopez; “Sleeping with the Enemy” (1990), with Julia Roberts; and even “Titanic” (1997), starring Leonardo DiCaprio, show situations of possessive love. Shakespeare’s “Othello” tells a story of jealousy that ends badly.

Now, if you want to see both feelings at the same time, watch the movie “Closer – Perto Demais” (2004), which shows two couples, in which one of the men suffers from jealousy and the other from possession.