Do I care a lot what others think? 7 signs that indicate yes

“You have to trust yourself” and “you have to accept other people’s opinions”: two pieces of advice we hear all the time and which, if looked at closely, can seem opposites. After all, is the best way to have unshakable self-esteem or to take into account the criticisms of those around us?

As you can imagine, the answer is that balance is always the best alternative. However, we tend to give much more credence to what other people think for fear of being misunderstood.

Is this your case? Here are some attitudes of those who tend to care too much about the opinion of others:

1. Your success depends on the approval of others

You may have put in a lot of effort and completed a task in record time, but will you only feel satisfied with your work if someone praises you? This could be a sign that you are placing too much importance on the approval that comes from others.

Of course, receiving a compliment is always an extra motivation, but we have to recognize our qualities for ourselves. If you find this too difficult, try focusing on the qualities of the task you completed (whether it was innovative, creative, useful, etc.). Gradually, you will be able to understand that you were responsible for all this.

2. You get too shaken by rejection

Not getting the job you wanted in a company selection process or never receiving a WhatsApp message from the boy after the first date could even mean that there is some aspect of yourself that could be improved, such as taking a refresher course or being more open. when meeting new people.

However, we should not understand a rejection as a sign that we are inferior, that nothing we do has any value or that we should completely change our personality. Often, a change does not represent a guarantee that we would not be rejected in the same situation.

3. You put yourself in the background in your relationship

By believing that you will only have value if you have a partner, you end up accepting situations that you don’t really agree with, such as infidelity, lack of consideration and even aggression.

If your goal is to make your partner happy as a “guarantee” that the relationship will continue to exist, even if it doesn’t do you any good, it may be time to seek help to put yourself back at the center of your life.

4. You spend a lot of time and money keeping up appearances

If you stop doing the things you really like or should to accompany other people in their activities as a way of showing that you are “in the class”, this is a sign that you depend too much on other people’s opinion.

The same thing happens if you find yourself emptying your piggy bank to fund travel, clothes, electronics, and other items simply because you fear negative judgment if you present yourself otherwise.

5. You can’t say “no”

It’s not that you’re very generous: you can’t say “no” to anyone for fear of displeasing them, even if it jeopardizes your schedule, your work, or your well-being.

When we give the opinion of others the importance it deserves, we are able to position ourselves and make decisions that do not harm us. After all, we are aware that if someone doesn’t like our “no”, it’s possibly the other person who suffers from a lack of empathy.

6. You hide your true opinion to avoid conflict

One of the characteristics of people with low self-esteem is to “change their minds” quickly when they realize that someone close to them thinks differently, in order to avoid conflicts with friends, family or a partner.

However, you need to be very clear that you are entitled to your own opinions and beliefs. Those who really like you will respect them, so you don’t have to be afraid of being less loved for thinking differently.

7. Your view of yourself changes all the time

In the morning, you turned in a report that was highly praised by your boss and that made you feel like an excellent professional. After lunch, however, he asked you to redo an assignment, and his reaction was to panic that he would be fired for being too incompetent.

When your view of yourself depends on what others think about you, your emotional state will live on a roller coaster that goes up or down depending on other people’s reactions – and that’s very exhausting.

Trusting yourself and your own judgment doesn’t mean you’re going to feel wonderful all the time. A self-confident person is able to accept their imperfections and maybe even be upset about them, but without feeling that a flaw nullifies all their qualities or turns them into someone worthless.

When the importance we give to the opinion of others has a healthy level, we are able to absorb points that are true and use them to improve, but they do not shake what we think about ourselves. It’s not about not listening to anyone else, it’s about knowing how much it must affect our lives.