Older men exert a certain charm in the female imagination, as it is normally expected that, as they have more experience, these men already know what they want, including in their love lives.
This type of behavior delights many women who are looking for more stable relationships and who are tired of men with childish behavior.
Security and maturity
Although not a pattern, older men are usually more self-assured. Clinical psychologist Pamela Magalhães points out that older men can bring about a more peaceful and stable relationship. “There is no rule, but there are greater chances of finding more emotional maturity in older men, which makes the affective relationship much easier”, she ponders.
For administrator Rebeca Novelleto, who started dating executive Ricardo Novelleto (currently her husband) at the age of 23, the difference of 28 years was never an obstacle. The administrator confesses that the relationship only brought her good things: “I don’t see any disadvantages. There is nothing that gets in the way of our relationship,” she says.
better sex
Given the greater experience, more controlled hormones and anxiety, men of a higher age group tend to be better in a very important field: sex.
Psychologist and sexologist Carla Cecarello reveals the reasons why these men can have a much better sexual performance: “(Older men) are in no hurry to get anywhere, that is, they respect women’s sexual time more”, account.
Is the relationship really better?
Rebeca relates her experience: “If the girl likes electronic music, clubbing and pool parties every week, it will be more difficult to find the same things she likes in a much older person. I was looking for a calmer person, I was tired of the hype”, she recalls. “I never had the patience for boys my age. I always thought them silly. Deep down, even without knowing it, I was looking for a centered, romantic, experienced person and when I met my husband I saw all that and more in him,” she says.
The affinity between the couple is essential for the relationship to work: “Ricardo was always very young in mind, body and soul, he likes to have fun but without exaggeration. We’ve always done everything together, we like the same things. He is a super partner.”, reveals Rebeca.
Another great advantage that Rebeca sees in her relationship with a man 28 years her senior was the greater concern with health: “Today I am calmer, he taught me a lot, especially in relation to health. He takes great care of himself and I’ve known him that way”. And he adds: “There were many changes, from food, physical activities, practicing patience, tolerance and other things that only added to me as a human being. Today I am a million times better at 35 than at 23.”
To work, a set of factors must be in harmony, such as plans, goals and desires. According to Carla, “Everything will depend on what one seeks in the relationship with the other”. Pamela shares the same idea: “Age is what matters least when we talk about the heart”, advises the psychologist.
Relationships need mutual effort and cooperation to succeed, as well as compatibility between partners: “Any relationship needs flexibility, dialogue, generosity, compatibility of plans and the fundamental: a lot of desire to make it work”, warns Pamela. Carla shares the same opinion and adds: “Happiness is related to the way we lead life, according to the vision we have of the world, that is, emotional maturity.”
care
Although they also occur in relationships with men of the same age, it is good to be careful not to get hurt in this type of relationship.
In certain cases, more mature men sustain trauma or addictions from previous relationships, which can compromise the current relationship.
Another issue concerns motherhood. In some cases, men already have children from previous relationships and no longer want to be parents. In these cases, the decision is very delicate, as Pamela guides: “If being a mother is something essential for you, talk a lot with your partner and agree with him the best alternative. And if he gives up that dream due to the limitations of the relationship, it’s not worth blaming him later for that.”
Partners of any age can be jealous, but older men tend to be jealous more often. The partner’s energy and vitality should not threaten you and a good conversation on this subject is essential.
Another very important issue: the older man is not his father and it is very important to have this difference very well defined. Carla warns of this type of situation: “Many women get carried away by attitudes of overprotection and security that a man at this age can provide and end up transferring to him a brotherly, fatherly love, and then things get completely confused”.
Preconception
Society’s prejudice is another obstacle that can arise and it is very important not to let this interfere in your relationship: “Unfortunately, learning to deal with prejudice and dribbling it will be a challenge. But the most important thing is to believe that the chosen path is what makes you happy and that’s it!”, observes Pamela.
Rebeca says that, in the beginning, some people did not see the relationship with good eyes: “My father made it a little difficult, but it was soon resolved. Some people wanted to give me advice but I didn’t listen to anyone.” Her determination to maintain the relationship has paid off: a solid marriage that has lasted 12 years.
Every relationship, to work, needs both partners to exercise understanding, understanding and the will to be together, regardless of age. “A little patience, thoughtfulness and an interest in sharing a life together will make all the difference,” notes Pamela.