9 Tips from psychologists that will help in communicating with your child

Children seem to have selective hearing: they go around repeating to everyone something you’ve confided to someone else in a low voice, and they ignore advice and instructions, even if you say it loud and clear.

We, from awesome.club, We’ve gathered top recommendations from psychologists on how to improve communication with children so that they really listen to us.

When children are engaged in play or discussion, they may ignore your words or even your screams. To attract the child’s attention and focus on what you are saying, squat down and place your hand on the child’s shoulder. So you will be heard.

We believe that screams are effective, but children quickly get used to it and stop reacting to it. Therefore, if the children are very agitated or noisy, approach them in a low voice. This method works very well with young children, as well as teenagers and adults.

It takes more effort to understand words spoken in low tones, and this makes them concentrate and listen more attentively. Subconsciously, whispered phrases seem important to us, as they give the idea that they can affect our well-being. In addition, a low voice has a calming effect on children, reducing anxiety.

Use the “when — then” construction. In this way, the child understands that his attitudes define the results obtained and everything depends exclusively on him. Use similar constructions if you want your child to do something: “When you’re done watching the cartoons, wash your plate, please.”

The mind of a child under seven years old is capable of storing an average of two pieces of information, and of older children — up to five. Therefore, it makes no sense to use several sentences at once: it is better to say what is important in one or two short sentences. Teach the safety rules little by little, do not give too many tips and instructions at once.

Perhaps children ignore you because you raise your voice often or complain a lot. Complaints are ineffective:

Makes them feel incapable; Makes them think they are being manipulated; They will listen to you even less; Your complaints simply irritate them; They soon learn that it is enough just to wait for you to finish complaining, that the problem is solved; Both the child and you they focus only on the negative side of the issue, not on seeking solutions.

Instead of expressing dissatisfaction for the hundredth time with socks thrown on the floor or plates left on the table, try praising your child for his correct actions. When demanding something from the child, do it with clear instructions and warn about the consequences only once.

It is important for children to understand how their actions affect those around them. Therefore, you need to explain to her that her behavior can cause pain, sadness or hurt, so that she begins to develop empathy. Make it clear to your child what his words or behavior mean to you, for example, “Your bad mood tells me you’re tired and it’s time for us to leave the playground.”

Learn to listen to your child carefully, do not interrupt him and do not be distracted by other matters. It builds trust between you. The child will feel understood and will be more willing to listen as well. Even if you caught her doing something wrong, let her talk, find out how she feels and what made her do it, and only then offer some advice.

Rather than repeating safety rules for the hundredth time, train your memory on them. Ask them what to do in a specific situation or how to solve a problem. This will help them remember the rules better. And besides, during the conversation you will be able to repeat useful advice.

Yelling at your child just because he picks his nose or makes a fuss in a store could be a sign that the problem is not with the child, but perhaps with one of the parents. To learn to accept a child as he is, we first need to accept ourselves.

Even if your child’s behavior is far from ideal, you cannot doubt that he will be a worthy person. Love him with all his imperfections. If he constantly feels your support, he will appreciate his opinion.

And what do you do when your child ignores your words? And how did your parents act in these situations?