Maybe you’ve heard of tantric sex, but you don’t know its meaning deeply and don’t even imagine how interesting it can be for your relationship!
The main question that arises around the subject is: can everyone practice tantric sex? How to start and why invest in this “trip”?
Luara Tanuri, tantric therapist and author of the blog Viva Tantra, explains that tantric sex is the sexual relationship between beings who have some awareness of their existence as something beyond the body. “With the focus on the individual pole (from the waist up), it is sex that is literally made of body and soul. Everyone can practice as long as they have body and soul,” she says.
According to the therapist, investing in this “trip” is worth it for those who are not satisfied with what has been sold to us as human sexuality. For those who want more of the intimate relationship with the similar. “Or even for those who believe that, through sexual contact, it is possible to experience an ecstasy that is beyond simple pleasure”, she adds.
Understanding what tantric sex is and how it is done (step-by-step), it is possible to extract precious tips that can improve the relationship between you and your partner! Check out:
1. Awareness of the divinity hidden in the partner
“In tantric sex, the goal is a spiritual experience through intimate union with one’s fellow man. For this to happen, the main ingredient is reverence for the divinity hidden in man (Shiva) and woman (Shakti) – tantric symbols”, explains Luara Taruni.
In this sense, you realize that, in addition to a human being that you know, there is before you and willing to join you a representative of the divinity of the universal male principle.
2. Sensuality, eroticism
After the awareness of the hidden divinity in the partner and the preliminaries – which, in tantric sex, do not refer to caresses and the basic repertoire so that the couple is sufficiently aroused for penetration, but to the preparation for sexual practice, made individually – it is possible to start. With sensuality and eroticism, as explained by therapist Luara.
“The look full of intent, the seduction, the gesture, the unspoken promise. Then the slow, slow, slow approach. The couple can take a bath together, as long as it takes a long time, with lots of foam, a soft and affectionate touch, without haste or malice. Everything is a joke, it’s supposed to be fun, so laughter is always welcome, as are sweet, loving words,” she says.
In tantric sex, the first and main exchange is from the waist up. “An eye to eye, breath exchange, saliva exchange, chest tight, synchronized breathing. Until penetration happens, it’s a soap opera, but after it happens, the ideal is for the genitals to remain together for a long time”, says Luara.
3. The contact
After many caresses on the body (all over!), the couple starts a game for penetration. “First, only the glans (the sensitive part, located at the end of the penis) enters the vagina and stays there for a few seconds, without movement. Afterwards, the penis is withdrawn to rest it on the foreskin of the clitoris. The action is repeated and the penetration is a little deeper with each opportunity. Always slowly at the entrance and exit, to then support the body of the clitoris and remain there for some time”, explains Luara.
“Even with genital contact, the focus remains on the individual pole at all times, breathing, looking, breathing, saliva and heart”, adds the tantric therapist.
4. The penetration
After a while in the “game” mentioned above, the couple achieves a deep penetration. “At that moment, the bodies must be relaxed and without any movement. Secret language between the couple is allowed, ie contractions of the perineum that make the penis move up and down and contractions of the vaginal muscles that squeeze and suck the penis. But for a while, ideally, there should be no pelvic movements. In addition to the secret language, any movement should only be involuntary”, explains therapist Luara.
When the couple feels that there is relaxation and tranquility, Shakti initiates a movement with the hips, which must be espoused by Shiva. “The one who sets the tone and the rhythm is always Shakti (feminine principle). Pelvic movements are circular and without losing contact, penetration is deep, bodies do not detach, pubis remain together. You should avoid range of motion for penetration, most of the time the movement is circular and not back and forth”, explains Luara.
It is never too much to remember: look, kiss, synchronized breathing, smile, complicity remain the main thing.
6. Variation of postures
After the union is established, it is already possible to opt for the variation of postures, but the ideal is for the couple to have eye contact. “Even when Shiva is in charge of the movements, he must always be attentive to Shakti’s signals and never impose his rhythm. Magic and sensuality are feminine, if one of the partners is carried away by the aggressive impulse of the masculine principle, the experience is no longer amorous, it is no longer tantric. Tantric sex is only possible from the feminine principle”, explains therapist Luara.
A very important factor within tantric sexual practice is pauses. Remaining in the union, the couple ceases to move and rests. “Still with the bodies glued and genitals together, perceiving the breath and calming down to start the movements again after a few minutes”, explains the therapist. “Orgasm is not a goal, but the observation of oneself in the orgasmic, sensual, erotic and amorous experience. All sensations are experienced from consciousness. The objective is maximum union with the other and, thus, union with the whole”, adds Luara.
8. The duration of the relationship
In tantric sex, the ideal is that ejaculation does not happen. But that’s not a rule, as long as the relationship lasts at least two hours. “Tantric sex can last for many hours, even a full day,” says the therapist.
She further adds that the energy of love is so powerful that even after a few days practitioners remain “shining”. “They are full of creative energy, in a good mood, the skin is more beautiful. It’s the ecstasy that reverberates for a few days after the experience,” adds Luara.
So, there is the option for couples who face (or intend to face from now on) sexuality as something really important and sacred. Tantric sex can add a lot to the relationship!
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