Most people have an innate desire to help others. We do this because we feel empathy, because we care about the lives of others, and because we want to see other people happy. Generosity is a beautiful human quality. The problem comes when we donate too much to people who don’t need it and then end up abusing our goodwill. But how do we find out when to set our limits? There are 8 signs that it’s time to say ‘no’.
O awesome.club wants you to know what are the signs that indicate that it’s past time to impose some kind of limit.
1. Your help causes the other person to behave irresponsibly
Being generous is a very good thing, but help must be offered so that the other person learns to solve problems on his own. If your actions don’t cause positive changes in the other, then it’s better to reflect on whether it’s worth continuing. What can happen is that the other starts to depend on you or let you do everything for him. That is, that person starts to behave irresponsibly and leaves all worries on top of you, which is not healthy. In cases like this, it’s better to take a step back and help those who really deserve your generosity.
2. You help so often that the person becomes dependent
When you offer help, you usually assume that the other person will learn to solve problems on their own. That would be ideal, but this is not always the case. Some people get used to asking for help and become dependent. You can see this when the other person cannot make a decision without asking your opinion. A situation like this is very stressful and shows that the time has come to say ‘no’.
3. Your help prevents the other person from moving forward
Helping the other too much can prevent him from developing his own abilities to move forward and solve his own problems alone. A clear example of this is overprotective parents. When you don’t let the other person feel what failure is like, they don’t realize their own strengths.
4. The person asks for your help and gets mad if you say ‘no’
We are not always available to help. If this happens and the other person gets angry, it’s time to set boundaries in the relationship. Your generosity must be true and come from the heart; it cannot be the result of pressure. Help must be important to show the other how he can solve problems alone and you cannot be someone who solves everything. In this sense, the other needs to understand that he will not always have your support and that this is normal.
5. The person promises to do their part, but you end up doing everything
He promises that next time he won’t ask for your help, but when the first difficulty arises, he calls you and you run out to help. This situation suggests a vicious circle that does no one any good. Let the other learn from their own mistakes; otherwise you’ll end up doing it all yourself.
6. You start to hold grudges against each other
The problem with giving too much is that friendships can be weakened. Instead of the feeling of well-being caused by generosity, you will be filled with resentment because there is no balance between what you give and what you receive.
7. The situation starts to affect your relationships, your health or your finances
In order to be able to help someone, it is important that you are well. If you realize that you are giving yourself too much and you no longer have the physical, emotional or even financial conditions to continue at the same pace, it is important to stop quickly. Try to distance yourself and see the situation from another angle. If you realize that offering help is not something that makes you happy and that it is hurting you and the people around you, it’s time to impose some limits.
8. You feel manipulated
The other person comes to you with arguments that make you feel guilty if you don’t offer what he asks. Instead of gladly helping, you end up responding because you feel pressured. This means that the other person is manipulating your generosity and just wants to take advantage. Stop for a while, think calmly and, if you realize that the situation is not good for you, stop offering help.
Have you ever needed to set boundaries in a relationship where the other person was abusing you? How do you find the balance between what you give and what you receive? Share your opinion in the comments.
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