7 people who shouldn’t have a say in raising their children

Every woman knows the weight of a hunch when she becomes a mother. The flood of tips, suggestions, diagnoses and evaluations comes from all sides, even from distant relatives and strangers.

It is possible that this behavior is just a reflection of our culture, which was conceived in a society where popular wisdom was passed down through the generations, but even if the hunch is practically instinctive, facing it naturally can be complicated in certain situations.

Most people mean well in their tips, but that doesn’t mean you should heed them. Knowing how to discern between advice and respond firmly and politely according to each situation are fundamental behaviors to affirm your posture without losing class and even hurting someone close or family.

7 people who have an opinion on raising your children and how to deal with them

Intimacy through coexistence generates affection and affection generates care. When we like someone, we want the best for that person and we want to see them well and happy, for this reason we often share experiences and even intervene in certain behaviors.

1. grandparents

Grandparents are the main people who have a say in raising children, which to a certain extent can give parents security, however, when interference becomes exaggerated, it can stress and bring a feeling of incapacity to parents in relation to their children.

Another risk is the breaking of family ties simply because there is no agreement between opinions. In these moments, the best way to look at the situation is to point out that you are the parent and that you would like to try another possibility, but that you will re-evaluate the tip offered at another time.

With grandparents, coexistence tends to be more constant and lasting, so it is possible that the “rain of guesses” never really ends. Evaluate each guess as if it were the only one and if you confirm that the tip is not for the moment, just smile, thank and dismiss the advice politely. Family ties thank you!

2. Friends who don’t have kids

Anyone who has never heard advice from people who have not even entered a maternity hospital should cast the first stone. Whether you’re the single best friend or that considerate aunt who never married, hunches can pop up at any stage of your life.

Often these friends think they know what’s best for you and your kids just because they know you. Even if there is a caring relationship between you, it is important to establish limits so that the inconvenience does not interfere with the friendship and generate future friction. Explaining your point of view as a mother instructing the conversation so that the person understands how much more practice is needed than theory can be enough to avoid unwanted opinions in the future.

3. Co-workers

It is normal to talk to co-workers about a wide range of subjects, including family and children. And if it is normal to talk about this subject, there will certainly be no shortage of hunches about it. Even though it’s perfectly normal to be annoyed by certain comments from people with whom we have a professional relationship, it’s important to remember that she may just be wanting to be empathetic, looking for familiarity.

Take the advice with a smile and say how you prefer to do it your way. After all, there are thousands of details about your family that it would be impossible for anyone to know them without being together. Stand firm in your stance, but keep up your work and good relationships with your colleagues as well.

4. Your child’s teachers

No matter what grade your child is in, whether it’s kindergarten or even high school, there will be a teacher ready to advise on your child’s education. The truth is that, even though it is advisable to listen to the tutor of your little ones and all their pedagogical wisdom, your child will behave differently at home and at school.

Even though the teacher is responsible for the education of your child while he is under the school roof, the assessment he may be able to make should be restricted to the school, that is, he should not have an opinion on the way you raise your offspring, except in some cases. Have a frank conversation with the teacher or even with the school administration if necessary. The school should not be responsible for the formation of the child’s personality, this duty (and right) rests with the parents. So be careful and don’t be afraid to intercept any unsolicited feedback.

5. Parents of school friends

Picking up children from school can be an exercise in patience for some parents. No, I don’t mean the crowded gate full of parents clustered together like at a stock exchange auction. I speak of imminent situations where at any moment a “supermom” or a “superdad” can appear ready to launch their best magical advice, often intruding on the conversation between Even though the face does not express the best features at these times, take a deep breath. Often smile and silence are the best combination.

6. Relatives

In addition to parents, there are uncles, aunts, cousins, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, nephews, godparents and a multitude of people who make up your family. They all want to give you a little bit of what they know and they all want to show attention. Soon they will all give you some kind of advice on how to raise your children at some point in your life.

Holidays and other family gatherings can be the perfect time for a “guess attack,” especially if the kids are young. Opinions about food, sleep habits, and educational activities are the champions of the relatives you have contact with sporadically.

As with grandparents, it is important to be careful when choosing the words to dispense advice, but the importance of keeping your decision as sovereign is the same. Talk about your vision, but don’t dwell on it. It’s your decision and you shouldn’t show that it’s a moot point. It’s the parents who know what’s best for their children, and decisions of any kind are up to them alone.

7. People on the street

What to do when you’re in line at the bank, your child cries because he’s impatient and, before you can even calm him down, the kind lady in front comes around with a thousand possible solutions and diagnoses? For many mothers this hypothetical situation is the worst one involving hunches about child rearing. If we don’t know people, we tend to be ruder and less understanding, without fear of hurting. Speaking your mind at this time is almost instantaneous and a cross-response can be inevitable.

To avoid these moments, the smile tactic works well. Rejecting advice with a look and short answers can prevent unwanted conversation from continuing, in addition to “educating an adult” in relation to other moms.

Being a father and mother is complex and no child comes with an instruction manual. Listening to the experience of the other can be important and of great value, but everything with limits and within the possible.

Raising healthy children is educating them with limits and affection in exact proportions. In this way we will be preparing our little ones for socializing with the world. Giving limits in an affective way (polite and sincere) to our relatives and friends is a way of properly facing this situation. In this way we teach our children in an illustrative way and also reinforce the hierarchy of the family.