7 key facts and myths about what asexuality is

“I prefer cake”. This is a common statement for those who identify on the asexuality spectrum, a comparison in which asexuals claim that eating a cake is more interesting than having sex. The subject gained prominence in the media in 2020, after a participant in Big Brother Brasil declared himself asexual.

The prefix “a”, for asexual, is used for denial and indicates that there is no sexual attraction. However, it is not synonymous with celibacy, abstinence or hormonal problems. To learn more about it, we talked to psychologist Jackeline Corrêa (CRP 08/22340). Check all the details:

what is asexuality

Asexuality is a sexual orientation, also called by the acronym ACE. Be careful not to use the term asexual, which means the absence of sexual organs. According to the psychologist, “asexual people do not feel, or feel only little, interest in sexual relations – regardless of the gender of the chosen partnership. However, this absence of desire does not mean that the asexual does not love, does not want to relate, does not get involved with another person or people.”

types of asexuality

• Aromantic: People who are not sexually or romantically attracted. They have no interest in or need for a romantic relationship.
• Demyromantic: People who need a strong emotional bond with others to feel affective attraction.
• Romantic: are those who feel romantic attraction to other people. They can be heteroromantic, biromantic, homoromantic or panromantic.
• Demisexual: People who are sexually attracted to others when they form a strong emotional bond.
• Gray-A: People who occasionally experience sexual attraction. They identify in an area between asexuality and sexuality.

Jackeline points out that asexuals can have sex. She tells us that “an illustrative way to understand is to imagine a ruler from 0 to 10 where 0 is the complete absence of sexual attraction and 10 is the presence of sexual attraction. Asexual people can identify themselves from the number 0 to the number 9. Therefore, it is not correct to say that asexual people will not have sex at some points in their life.”

7 facts and myths about asexuality

Although asexuality is being more publicized and talked about openly, there are still doubts about the subject. We separate the main myths and facts related to sexual orientation. Check out:

1. Sex is not essential for the asexual: Fact. For asexual people, there are other pleasures in a relationship. Some don’t want to have sex, others will experience it occasionally. According to the psychologist: “For many asexual people, the most pleasant moment with their partnership is laughing together, walking in the park, watching a movie with popcorn, having dinner in a cozy restaurant…”
2. Asexuality is a hormonal problem: Myth. Asexuals can have hormonal problems, but lack of sexual attraction is not related to this.
3. Asexuality is not celibacy: Fact. Celibacy is a personal choice to save for someone or a certain occasion, so sexual desire is repressed.
4. Every asexual has suffered a trauma: Myth. People who have suffered sexual trauma continue to have desire, but they repress it out of fear. Asexuals do not see sex as essential, but they may never have had sex and their sexual orientation is not linked to past trauma.
5. Asexuals can have physiological responses to sex: Fact. Sex-favorable asexuals may have sexual experiences and experience orgasms and other physiological responses.
6. A person is only asexual because they have never tried sex or haven’t found the right person: Myth. Some asexuals have sex occasionally, while others have experimented and not found the experience relevant.
7. Asexual people can face situations of psychological suffering due to the lack of recognition and respect: Fact. Due to the lack of knowledge on the subject, some people invalidate asexuality, taxing sexual orientation as a disease. For Jackeline, “therapeutic work is recommended for self-knowledge and empowerment.”

These are some of the facts and myths about asexuality. Psychologist Jackeline still leaves an important message: “No qualified mental health professional can suggest or impose that asexual people should ‘define’ themselves in some other sexual orientation such as heterosexuality or homosexuality. If a professional suggests something like this to you, report it!”.

Experiences with asexuality

We selected four videos with reports of women about the discovery of asexuality. Follow:

what is it like to be asexual

Thalita Piacentini explains a little about asexuality and tells how her relationship with her husband is. She also answers several questions and clears up doubts about sexual orientation.

Do you know what demisexuality is?

Here, blogger Thata explains the differences between demisexuality, asexuality and non-asexuality, as well as reading accounts and experiences of people who have gone through the process of recognition and acceptance.

I’m demisexual

Natasha Rattacasso’s account of her discovery of demisexuality. She even talks about her upbringing, with more freedom to talk about sex and sexuality. Therefore, she shows that wanting to have sex only with someone with whom you have a strong bond is not just a matter of choice.

What is it like to date a demisexual?

In this video, the YouTuber brought her boyfriend to answer questions about demisexuality and explain what the couple’s relationship is like. Follow up!

As you can see, asexuality is a sexual orientation. If you identify as asexual, feel free to speak up. In the words of psychologist Jackeline: “No one can tell you how to love, only you.” Now, enjoy and also read our article on what a sapiosexual is, a person who is attracted to intelligence.