5 common causes of lack of self-confidence and how to overcome them

Feeling comfortable with yourself is a skill related to self-confidence. However, there are a number of emotional, social and cultural factors that influence how you view yourself and your self-esteem. So, check out the explanations of psychologist Jackeline Corrêa and understand what it is and how to be self-confident.

What is self-confidence?

In the words of psychologist Jackeline, self-confidence is “the ability to feel confident about yourself in a variety of situations”. She explained that being self-confident is important as it “allows for appropriate responses to life circumstances, whether positive or negative. Appropriate responses bring health and well-being.”

The psychologist also cited two examples to facilitate understanding of the subject: “Self-confident people find it easy to express opinions and talk about their values, in addition to taking a stand against something that is at odds with their principles. They also face challenges and open up to new things as they feel safe and recognize their previous achievements,” she concluded.

5 benefits of being self-confident

Self-confidence is essential both for personal and professional life and for dealing with day-to-day issues. Here are some benefits listed by the psychologist:

• Know how to express yourself and position yourself;
• Feel able to face challenges;
• Be open to news and seize opportunities;
• Recognize your past achievements;
• Take better care of yourself.

As you can see, there are many benefits that come with self-confidence. Now, read on to understand the causes of lack of confidence and tips for working through it.

Lack of self-confidence, its causes and how it affects your life

According to Jackeline, “the lack of self-confidence brings a lot of damage, because without it, the feeling of devaluation can become frequent. And people who don’t feel self-confident will have a hard time believing in themselves.” Among the most common causes for the issue are:

• Low self-esteem: “self-esteem differs from self-confidence because it encompasses other aspects of life. Low self-esteem happens when you are not able to recognize your own value, ability or like yourself”, explained the psychologist.
• Fear of making mistakes: Jackeline commented that it is “the feeling of having to be perfect and never being able to make mistakes, something that can be related to the development of self-image and self-confidence in childhood”.
• Excessive comparison: by comparing themselves too much, the person tends to see only their flaws, “she feels incapable, ignorant or irrelevant”, quoted the psychologist. Also, regarding the professional environment, “those who do not feel self-confident easily lose opportunities to speak out, suggest ideas and propose solutions”.
• Fear of rejection: “It involves having negative thoughts about yourself and not believing that you are able to arouse good feelings in other people. Therefore, he always ends up canceling himself and saying yes to everything”, explained the specialist.
• Difficulty letting go of the past: “these are emotional barriers created in the past, resulting in difficulty in forgiving yourself and having self-compassion”, commented the psychologist.

These are possible causes for lack of self-confidence, often a reflection of the past, from childhood to adult life situations. Read on to learn the difference between this term and self-image.

Self-confidence and self-image are different concepts that go together

The psychologist commented a little on the difference between self-confidence and self-image. The two concepts, although different, are related. According to Jackeline, “It is common for people who do not feel self-confident to have a distorted view of themselves. Self-image is the way you see yourself, how you represent yourself and how you recognize yourself.”

Still in the words of the psychologist, “as well as self-confidence, self-image begins to be built in childhood, based on experiences lived over the years. The results of all of them are present in personal behavior. Thus, developing self-confidence will impact self-image.” Also, being self-confident will help you see yourself in a more positive and respectful way.

10 tips to develop self-confidence and feel good

With respect, affection and patience, you will realize the immense potential you have. To help you on this journey, check out some valuable tips from the psychologist:

1. Get to know yourself

The first step is the desire to know yourself and be prepared to deconstruct the image you created of yourself. According to Jackeline, “a very effective way to get to know yourself more and better is therapy. Working on personal aspects and looking at yourself attentively, it will be possible to recognize your qualities, defects, desires, fears, as well as your relationships and attitudes”.

2. Be organized

Keep an organized routine, without overloading yourself and respecting your limits. “That way, you’ll know what needs to be done, how it should be done, and this will help to ward off disabling or demotivating thoughts,” quoted the psychologist.

3. Write down your achievements

How many times do you point out your mistakes and belittle your successes? The psychologist’s advice is: write down your achievements “as a reminder of your ability to overcome challenges. You can write down several situations that you’ve been through and managed to solve. Getting over it and reading it often, especially when you’re not feeling confident, is a way to awaken the pleasurable feeling of having accomplished something.”

4. Have your own opinion and cultivate good relationships

You have every right to have an opinion on a certain subject, without having to agree with everyone around you. As Jackeline explained, “It’s valid to reinforce what you think and surround yourself with people willing to listen and dialogue, not just impose what they believe.”

5. Do things you like

Self-confidence is also about quality of life, so practice “activities that promote health, such as physical exercise, sports, going out with friends, walking the pet, reading and watching movies. To face situations that are not favorable, it is important to have the ‘battery charged’, and a good way to recharge is to do pleasant things”, commented the psychologist.

6. Respect your time

All people have their time and should respect it. As Jackeline points out, “you need to stop comparing yourself!” Thus, it will be possible to “understand and accept your limitations, without seeing it as something bad or a sign of inferiority. It’s just different moments.”

7. Take advantage of opportunities and challenge yourself

The psychologist mentioned that “you must challenge yourself to overcome obstacles. You will only know that you are capable if you take advantage of opportunities and try different things”. Very clear and objective, ignore fear and take a risk!

8. Don’t focus on negative thoughts

“Doubt even what you think. Thoughts do not reflect reality. Stick to the facts and build solutions from real problems and not from catastrophic anxious thoughts,” explained Jackeline.

9. Accept and welcome your mistakes

Mistakes happen, after all – and thankfully – you are not a machine. According to the psychologist, “nobody is perfect and all failures are learning opportunities”. So, welcome your mistakes, respect your frustration and don’t punish yourself.

10. Set goals and targets

Knowing what you want and where you want to go also helps to work on self-confidence. The psychologist recommends “writing down your goals and readjusting them whenever you think it’s necessary. The most important thing is that they are personal, things you want.”

Did you imagine that self-confidence was so important in your life? Now, take the opportunity to work it in your day to day. Lack of trust is also present in imposter syndrome. So check out the article and keep practicing self-care.

The information contained on this page is for informational purposes only. They do not replace the advice and follow-up of doctors, nutritionists, psychologists, physical education professionals and other specialists.