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4 Signs You’re Spoiling Your Child

Am I right in my child’s education? This is usually a question that parents often ask themselves. Nothing is more natural than uncertainty, since raising a child is a very big responsibility, with no ready-made recipe to help with the task.

Part of the doubts is a consequence of a generation gap. Parents who were rigorously educated during childhood want their children to grow up and learn life’s lessons in a more gentle way. Many others planned the arrival of the heir in detail and now surround him with all the accumulated love and affection.

You love your son, no one doubts it. But can this “excess of love” and care have side effects on his upbringing? Experts say that spoiled children have a hard time dealing with life’s frustrations. Some children’s behaviors serve as a warning to you.

1 – Your child is always right

If you think your child is always right, regardless of the situation, it may be the first sign that he is being spoiled beyond measure. “Many parents believe that their children will rarely be wrong, and will not be questioned before drawing any conclusions”, explains pedagogue Tatiana Custódio. An example of this is when parents are called at school to solve behavioral problems about the child and, even before knowing the school’s position and version about it, they already “arm” themselves with all possible arguments so that, if there is someone wrong in the story, other than your son, adds Tatiana.

It is important to emphasize that to educate is not to allow everything. Prohibitions and limits are necessary for the child’s development. Not providing children with a solid and clear awareness of limits means exposing them to serious risks and difficulties in the future.

2 – He Can’t Make Decisions Without You

Can your child make any decisions – any decisions – without consulting you? This continual dependence could be a sign that he is being pampered or overprotected. By letting her decide for herself, parents have the opportunity to teach the child to make responsible choices.

The tip is to let your child be used to deciding from an early age. Start with subjects without serious repercussions, like the clothes you want to wear or the story you want to read, for example. As it grows, it will become easier to have autonomy and decision-making capacity. Experts advise that parents should even allow their children to be wrong at times in their decisions. If the child suffers the negative consequences, he will certainly be more rigorous in the next choices.

3 – Your child has difficulty sharing

One way to try to mitigate selfish behavior is to establish greater autonomy for children, so that they can resolve conflict situations without necessarily needing the intervention of their parents, who resolve everything for them. “At school, with friends, it is important to create activities in which the materials are for collective use, so that they learn to share”, suggests the pedagogue.

It is worth mentioning that the continuous mediation of parents and teachers is extremely important for the child to change his behavior gradually.

4 – Your child doesn’t know how to wait

Usually, the child spoiled or overprotected by the parents cannot wait until their wish is granted. Crises of crying, nervousness and drama at the time of requesting something from parents or teachers, may be signs that she is used to satisfying her wants in the time she determines, if she realizes that this type of attitude has worked before.

So don’t stop everything you’re doing to serve your child. Explain, with affection, that not everything can be done when he wants. After all, life is like that.

No matter how good your intentions, a childhood with too much pampering has negative effects on adulthood. “When parents decide to do what their children want, they choose to free them from any loss situation. Therefore, the child is protected from going through moments of small frustrations, necessary for emotional and cognitive development”, warns pedagogue Tatiana Custódio. In adult life, when the time comes when you should know how to deal with conflicting situations, your child may not be emotionally ready to resolve them – as he was always spared from situations like this as a child.

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