10 Types of self-destruction that slowly poison our lives

Sometimes we feel an inner emptiness, a despair. On the one hand, we want to “stop worrying and start living” as quickly as possible; on the other hand, we often do not find enough strength to act. So we try to create an illusion of life and commit self-destructive actions without realizing that we are unconsciously hurting ourselves.

O awesome.club shows its readers today how certain methods of self-destruction are determined. We invite you to learn about these actions, which are often not obvious, so you can notice if you or a loved one is “falling” into them.

You must accomplish, as soon as possible, what you want, without leaving it for later or for the next year. The longer you put it off, the more excuses your inner criticism will accumulate. This inner voice often doesn’t allow you to do what you want, hiding negative thoughts under logical arguments. The criticism in your head has nothing to do with conscience. It doesn’t talk about morality, but rather humiliates, weakens your self-esteem and leads you to self-destructive actions or simple inaction on what happens around you. The most common thoughts placed by this excess of criticism within you are the following: “and what will others say?”, “I won’t be able to do it anyway”. Psychologists even compare this inner voice to an auditory hallucination that does not allow a person to act in their own best interest.

To create the illusion that you’re at least doing something, you start doing something different. For example, you’ve decided to write a novel and you already have a plot, but you don’t, deciding first to read a book that contains advice from a famous writer. And then another and another. Then you choose to update your knowledge of punctuation, learn more about grammar rules, write dictations and the like. In the end, start watching lectures to learn how to create dialogue correctly, and after that, a few movies looking for inspiration. You tell yourself and others that you are working on your book, but in reality you haven’t even started writing it yet.

The reasons for such behavior are the same as for procrastination: fear of responsibility and failure, lack of instant rewards, and so on. By occupying your hands and your brain with something, you believe that you are working and trying to succeed, but this is not true.

Worrying about an important event is completely normal. But some people start to feel anxiety when they are simply alone. In either case, a person may end up falling into a trap. If you try to mask your “disturbing” thoughts with music, television, games, idle chatter or bad habits, they will be noticed more and more. Therefore, you will not be able to deal with anxiety and your efforts will be in vain.

To combat an anxiety attack, look for alternatives that might help, such as running without moving or going up and down stairs for several minutes.

Not everyone has loved ones they can and want to spend time with. But supporting yourself and encouraging loneliness means dedicating yourself to self-destruction. By being isolated from society, the person does not allow his life to change. Recently, German scientists discovered that social interaction is directly related to life satisfaction. The subjects who managed to make their lives happier for a year chose the following strategies: spending more time with their families and helping others.

But shyness sometimes prevents lonely people from creating new relationships. Remember that it is also possible to have fun in solitude. The most important thing is not just staying indoors, but letting something new and enjoyable enter your life. Also, if you start going to the movies, taking courses or visiting new places, you might find someone you like.

After reading the rules on how to take care of your finances, many people start counting exactly every penny they spend. And they suffer for it. Half of the purchases are considered spontaneous. The person scolds himself for every packet of cookies he buys or for a simple cab ride: “I could live without this”, “I could spend that money on something really necessary”. Unfortunately, this total abandonment of small pleasures will only bring feelings of guilt and mental exhaustion, but not prosperity.

Making spontaneous purchases on a daily basis is undoubtedly harmful to your pocketbook. But don’t forget that it is also necessary to enjoy life. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a cup of coffee or chocolate on a rainy day or when you feel like it!

A person gives up his hobby for various reasons, but most of the time he does it when, instead of pleasure, it just brings him daily stress. For example, you love photography and at some point you start to wonder if what you spent on an expensive professional camera will ever be amortized. In this case, the probability of mental exhaustion is high. So you give up that hobby, find a new one, and after a while you find the same thoughts come to your mind.

If you think your hobby is wearing you down, don’t give it up right away. First, honestly answer the following question: what is your goal? If you don’t intend to make money or gain worldwide recognition, then you shouldn’t “punish” yourself for inevitable failures or slow progress. Second, reduce your effort. For example, instead of doing it daily after work, set aside for your hobby only 2 days a week.

If you feel like you want to get into a verbal conflict with someone, this is a sign that you have built up aggression and irritability and you need to release them as soon as possible. But when you deliberately start an argument with someone who has power over you, like a boss or a teacher, we’re not just talking about emotions. These people can make your life more difficult, get revenge on you later and verbal argument with them is also a way of self-destruction.

Procrastination is inherent in everyone and everyone, in their own way, fights it. In some cases,
a delay can cost us money, our careers, or even our health. For example, if you do not repay the loan on time, you will have to pay higher interest rates and your credit history will be tarnished. If you ignore some unpleasant symptoms and don’t go to the doctor, the disease can get worse. Every person, for various reasons, avoids important issues, and in a careless way, procrastination is a threat to all spheres of life.

If you don’t feel like doing anything, first ask yourself: will something bad happen if I don’t? If the answer is yes and the result is, for example, a warning from your boss, set a goal to accomplish at least part of your task. Don’t forget to praise yourself from time to time for doing really important work that depends on your well being.

“Modesty is a virtue”, a phrase that many heard during childhood. But the extreme degree of modesty is a quality, to say the least, dubious. Many are used to thinking that all their virtues are natural and therefore do not consider them personal accomplishments. Others feel guilty for any privilege and benefit gained. Psychologist Hara Marano gives the following example: at a conference, it was announced that there was no more time and that the speaker would answer one last question. The woman who at that moment was holding the microphone, instead of asking the question, started apologizing in front of everyone, saying literally that she felt guilty.

The habit of apologizing for your own intelligence, dedication, comfort, these are all part of a sign of imaginary courtesy. This type of behavior causes pathological feelings of guilt and shame, as well as self-doubt.

Psychologists consider excessive jealousy a way of sabotaging relationships, both romantic and with friends. You may feel jealous because there is a feeling of betrayal over something that happened in the past, with your ex-partner for example, or simply because you feel insecure. Jealousy is a sign that the person is feeling pain in the soul🇧🇷 To heal this wound in your heart, you have to work with that pain, so you don’t hurt neither you nor your partner with constant questions and “desires” to reveal a non-existent infidelity.

If you have noticed that you commit or have already committed some of these actions to punish yourself, try to reflect on the reasons or causes of this behavior and, even better, contact a specialist, so that he can help you the best way to improve this type of attitude. and so that you can live a full and happy life. Have you ever noticed that you consciously do something bad and then suffer? If you want, share your ideas and thoughts with us. Sometimes other people with the same issues may like to hear more stories and even feel comforted!